As Hard As I Fell

We’ve known each other for a while now. I met you through a common interest. We both love it. We’ve become close because of it. You know what I’m talking about. You know my mom and I know your dad. I can’t tell you that all I want is more than you’ve given to me. Friendship is great, but I’m looking for more. I’ve admired you from a distance but it kills me not being with you. We’d be great together. You and I both know. What are we waiting for; we’ve both made it obvious. But maybe I’ve got my signals mixed up and your hinting toward friendship. What if I tell you and your reaction isn’t what I’d hoped? What if after I tell you our friendship never goes back. We’ll be stuck, unable to move forward but can’t go back. I don’t want to lose you because as much as it hurts only being your friend, nothing could describe what I would feel to not at least be your friend. I don’t know how I fell for you, maybe it’s your smile or the way you say my name. Maybe it’s how sweet you are or how you treat everyone the way you like to be treated. Maybe it’s your mesmerizing eyes or the way you comb your hair. Maybe I fell for the way you laugh or the stupid jokes you tell. Maybe I fell for your brain not to mention your body. But for now my feelings for you will be kept secret from you. Because as hard as I fell for you, I’m still and always will be afraid or ever losing you.