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Since I was little I've always wondered what people thought
about as they died. I don't mean 'died' as in, peacefully in their
sleep. I mean the kind of 'died' where they can watch their blood
drain from them, the kind of death that looks so painful, and is so
utterly glorified in horror movies and video games.
Like, when
someone falls down a cliff, and their body is mangled on the ground,
broken and bleeding, and they know with their inner knowledge that
they will not survive? What do they
think about, specifically?
Very recently my thoughts have
swung around to the event that a person is shot and lies bleeding to
death in what seems like an inadvertent shooting.
Do they
think of the person who shot them? Do they know that person, did they
hate each other? Do they think about their dogs and cat, who will
care for their pets when they are gone? Or of their friends and
families, the people who loved them, the people they are leaving
behind?
Is it possible that they think of their taxes, their
final debts, who will have to pay for their funeral?
Or god? Do
they think of religion and the deity who has betrayed them, left them
to perish where they should not be perishing?
Do they think of
world hunger, of famine and drought, war in other countries, of their
pain and suffering?
Or sacrifice; do they think of sacrifice,
the thought that they died, possibly to save another life, so their
death is not in vain.
Do they ponder old memories, dredge up
things long forgotten to mull over in their mind, to poke and prod
and analyze?
Do they regret old losses, having never told that
certain person that they loved them, never fearing they wouldn't have
the chance again?
Do they think of long deceased relatives, whom
perhaps they will meet in the after life?
Do they think of the
afterlife?
Is it possible to think nothing at all? How about nothing and everything at the same time. Do they wonder what people think about in death?
I said I had always wanted to know, but my urgency to know was never a need for firsthand experience.
Right
now, it's getting hard to see, and it's incredibly cold, and I've no
idea why. I can still faintly feel the lead lodged in my chest, (and
it broke a good many bones) and hear the blood rush in my ears, but
now it grows faint.
Guess I'll never know what people think about
when they die...