What is wrong with you --Priscilla L.

Friends to begin with. Virginity of hugs lost. Soul mates we really were, and then we became lovers.
But
you decide to wander, I wouldn't blame you, you're just a guy.
I couldn't stand it, when I found out of the truth.
All this time, I couldn't believe it, but you were lying to me.
The truth was brutal; I knew I had to make a choice.
I knew I was getting bored with you, I knew I wanted more.
The thing was, I thought we were perfect for each other.
We had a lot of things in common, from our celebrity crushes,
to our favourite food and vacation spot.
You were semi-homosexual, but then you turned straight.
You decided to act that way too, you were no longer fun.
So that night I knew I had to make a choice.
I knew she didn't know about me, but she still stole him from me.
So I thought, if I wasn't happy, then maybe she could be.
Then you called me, and I asked you what was on your mind,
the first guy to be on the phone with me, and you cried.
I've never talked to a crying guy before, and I knew you were extremely shy.
I started to talk, but I was chocking on tears, I didn't know why.
I was literally sobbing, as I told you my plan.
How I wanted you to be with her, to make your decisions easier.
I am just dropping you, and I told you I would be fine.
I wasn't sure how convincing I was, with all the tears down my face.
But I knew somewhere you believed me, so I just left it right there.
The week after that, I realize that I never wanted to leave you.
I wanted you back! For me! All to myself! But I threw my chance away.
And as weeks passed, I continued our tradition: to e-mail one another, like our old days.
I tried not to put as much into it, but it's just the way I am.
I needed someone to listen to me, as I bitch and rant.
But you took it indirectly, and thought that I was real.
And you told her that I can't get over you, and piled that with more lies.
From 2 years of dating, to breaking up in summer.
Where the hell did you get that from?
The truth is we were only together for 8 months and we broke up on the 1st of January.
Then more lies were made up, and apparently I couldn't get over you.
From xanga posts to e-mails, you just made it look so true.
To hear that made me furious, from your girlfriend, made it worst.
To know that I let you go for her, and dare you lie to her!
To me it might be fine now, but to your own beloved you dared!
It made me totally angry, outraged and mad.
To hear of your lies of me, and more and more backstab.
You know I get enough of that from school, and why would you do more.
"Do you not even want the friendship that we had before?"
The closeness and the goofiness, it was all comfortable.
We'd laugh all day and joke about homos and gayness.
And now, all this, all this bullshit, this betraying and deceit.
It pisses me off to know that you would sink so low, so deep.
It made me so angry; I know I don't want to befriend you.
'Because before I knew you didn't want to talk to me,
and "you didn't know me anymore".
What bullshit that was, you always knew, that I was the queen of bitching.
I ranted all day and told you who I bitched the day and following.
Just now all this, you say to me, and suddenly you take back.
What goes around, comes around, you better watch your back.
You led yourself into destruction, you think too much, to care.
You idiot, you stupid ass, I don't want you near.
You have no common sense, so you can't think like anyone else.
When a girl is crying her ass off, and you're there, you just don't stand away.
A friend who needs your comfort, you could've given a pat on the back or two.
But you're relationship stupid, and even a hug would do and you didn't even consider it.
What's WRONG with you, I'd want to slap you again, again and again.
But what would that do, if only it could slap some SENSE into YOU.
YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY. SO FUCKING ANGRY.
AND THEN YOU SEND ME THIS E-MAIL.
WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THIS,
WHY DID YOU FUCKING DO THIS.
DID YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE ME CRY?
I'VE CRIED TOO MUCH FOR YOU,
ALL THOSE FUCKING TIMES, YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE.
THOSE SALTY TEARS WERE FOR YOU,
AND NOW THIS BULLSHIT, YOU JACKASS, YOU BITCH.
YOU NO-BRAINED IDIOT, FUCK OFF!
I WAS SO GOOD WITHOUT YOU,
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU DIDN'T DESERVE ME.
I SPOILED YOU WITH MY LOVE.
AND NOW YOU SUFFER, YOU HAVE TO BE STRAIGHT MAN.
I WANT TO SEE YOU TORTURED AND SUFFERED,
OF THE PAIN THAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH.
TO SEE YOU DIE, AND YOUR SPOILED LIFE RUINED,
WOULD MAKE ME OH SO FUCKING HAPPY.
OH YOU'RE SO FULL OF SHIT, YOUR WORDS ARE SHIT,
AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO ''PROCESS'' YOUR THOUGHTS.
YOU RETARD BOY, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER BOY, YOU SICKEN ME.
YOUR EMAIL MAKES ME WANT TO RIP YOU APART.
HOLY FUCKING LOSER YOU BITCH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT.
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERFUCKINGSTAND THE FUCKING SHIT YOU PUT ME THROUGH, SO JUST FUCK OFF NOW AND LEAVE ME.
YOU RETARD BITCH. IM GOING TO SHOW YOU THAT THINGS CAN SOMETIMES NOT GO YOUR FUCKING WAY. SPOILED BRAT, THE DAY'LL COME AND YOU'LL GO CRAWLING ON YOUR KNEES.
NO SYMPATHY FROM ME, NO PITY FROM ME, JUST TEARS OF JOY AND GLEE.
SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE. I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. YOUR SOUL MATE OR ANYTHING. I FUCKING HATE YOU, and IM GOOD WITHOUT YOU, you just THREW YOUR CHANCE AWAY.
"I don't even think I know you anymore"
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH YOUR BULLSHIT ROTS.
Pro counseling, like you gave a shit.
My life, like it ever meant ANYTHING to you.
It didn’t, because if you KNEW me, if you UNDERSTOOD ME, THEN YOU WOUDLNT HAVE DONE WHAT YOU DID.

Dear MR. STRAIGHT GUY,
You don't KNOW ME.
If you think about it, you might think you DO now, but you DON'T. Why do I like cats? SEE YOU DONT KNOW. FUCK YOU. I am a bitch, the drama queen, but apparently back then, YOU STILL DIDNT KNOW THAT. And you would think you know me now, you take that back, oh boohoo, I don't fucking care, if those the other Crofton girls come bitching back at me, you girls just go fuck yourselves because you don't understand and therefore I won't deal with your shit. BUT I will fucking CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING PENIS AND COOK IT IN STEW AND FEED IT TO FUCKING PIGS.
Much hatred,
Priscilla