Self-Hate

Have you ever looked in the mirror and just wanted to die?

this tortured feeling

don’t know whether you wanna be sick

or cry

you hate yourself

for being such a fool

you lied

you hurt

you fell for the play of ‘cruel’

this thing you see

when you look at your reflection

the disgust you feel

in ‘quiet’ introspection

“What the fuck am I?”

“I don’t deserve to live”

“Don’t look at me! Don’t talk to me!”

that’s the way it is

Then someone says

“I love you”

and you don’t know what to say

“Do I deserve this? Is it true?”

can it really be that way?

“Is it possible that I—

the slime—

the dirt—

is it possible that I

don’t have to feel so hurt?”

you don’t have to feel the rain

the tears of blood

the pain

you can open your eyes

see the skies

no more hiding behind your shame

You look into the mirror

there might not be something wrong…

shake away you shell of fear

and live your whole life long