I never knew that when I started on this journey that I would be brought back to my past so badly. I never wanted to think of this again. I never wanted to see those haunted faces of the dead that I had cut down. By my own blood. By my own self-inflicted wounds.

--------------------

When this began I had nothing to say

And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me

(I was confused)

And I let it all out to find that

I'm not the only person with these things in mind

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What was I thinking when I started this? Was I actually thinking that I could kill him and survive? I knew, somewhere deep down, that I would face him and take my leave quietly into the next world. Then why did I open up on the way?

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(Inside of me)

but all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel

(Nothing to lose)

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own

And the fault is my own

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Why did I allow people to get close? Why did I allow my emotions to finally bubble to the surface after so long of surpressing them? Was it you who caused this? Was it you who wore away my seal and gave me back feeling?

-------------------

I want to heal, I want to feel

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I've held so long

(Erase all the pain till it's gone)

I want to heal, I want to feel

Like I'm close to something real.

I want to find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

-------------------

Is it you who is making me feel this way? Was it you who opened my eyes to what a real life could be? You’ve always been looking out for me. Why now? Why, when I finally got to know you, do I have to leave? No one else knows of what my plan consists of. You, even you, have no idea of what it entails.

-------------------

And I've got nothing to say

I cant believe I didn’t fall right down on my face

(I was confused)

looking everywhere only to find that it's

Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.

(So what am I)

-------------------

As I draw nearer to the conclusion, why is it that I feel regret? I deserve this. He deserves this. We both deserve it. I just happen to be the herald.

-------------------

What do I have but negativity

Cause I cant justify the way everyone is looking at me

(Nothing to lose)

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own

And the fault is my own

-------------------

I’m falling back down in confusion. Do I really feel that this is the only alternative? Is this the only way I can destroy him and atone for myself? Yes, it must be. The gods would have shown me a way out if there had been.

-------------------

I want to heal, I want to feel

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I've held so long

(Erase all the pain till it's gone)

I want to heal, I want to feel

Like I'm close to something real

I want to find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

-------------------

I’ve always wondered if there would be a place for me in the next life. Would I be welcomed into the bright realm of the Angel? Or would I be cast back into the dark abyss of the Demon? Or would I wander around in limbo, on neither the darkness or the light but on the brink?

-------------------

I will never know

Myself until I do this on my own

And I will never feel

Anything else until my wounds are healed

I will never be

Anything 'til I break away from me

And I will break away

I'll find myself today

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They’re trying to help. I send them away, but you won’t leave, no matter how heavily I insist. This is something I must face alone. This is something that I must deal with on my own conscience. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, I will always be alone in my suffering and only I can understand it.

-------------------

I want to heal, I want to feel

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I've held so long

(Erase all the pain till it's gone)

I want to heal, I want to feel

Like I'm close to something real

I want to find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

-------------------

Maybe if I tried hard enough, you’d at least turn away. I never want you to see the things that I was, that I am, that I’ve become, that I will become. At least grant me that.

-------------------

I want to heal, I want to feel like

I'm somewhere I belong

I want to heal, I want to feel like

I'm somewhere I belong

Somewhere I belong

-------------------

It’s finished. I finished it. I finally feel complete now that it’s over. But there you are again, trying to call me back as I dance along the brink of my sweet oblivion. I feel something deep down in me, telling me to stay. Telling me to somehow stop your miserable sobbing. But my old flame returns. I have to go. It’s my fate, my destiny. I can’t stop what I’ve started and I must end the cycle now before any others are hurt because of this. I take my last and final leap over the edge into my sweet oblivion. Farewell.