A/N: Ok this is really, really lame, but i needed to get somethings out that have been building up inside... review... flames are welcome! lol...

I know I should be happy,

But I can’t help it!

Why am I feeling like this,

When I should have so much faith?

I don’t know,

I don’t know anything anymore.

Sometimes I thank God for those promises,

Or I would be bleeding.

But just because I am not bleeding on the outside,

Doesn’t mean I’m fine.

I tell people I’m horrible,

Just so they know,

But they deny it,

Questioning how I could be,

But they don’t know,

They don’t see inside of me.

I’ve given up on something so huge,

Something that kept me alive,

And now all I do is cry

Because I know,

I admit it,

Our love won’t last forever.

Yes, I tell other’s I love them,

But it’s always been a different type of love,

Different from you,

And although I need you,

One day you won’t need me,

You’ll get sick of my dependence apon you,

You’ll hate the way I say I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say,

You’ll hate the way I look at you,

But I will always love you because of what you caused….

And as for my friend, my wonderful friend,

She has taught me to love,

Because I have discovered that it’s ok,

It’s ok to love more than one person,

That it will always be for different reasons,

But, you’ll love them for what they’ve done,

So, yes, I love yet again,

Although It will never be the same,

And there are times when I want it to be the same,

To be able to trust without fear,

To be able to love with out doubt,

But will I ever be able to?

I doubt it,

Because how could someone love. … me?

This horrible and faithless person,

With a dark soul hiding behind a smile….

And to those who do love me,

Thank you, for you do not know

How much you mean to me,

You don’t realize that you’ve saved me…

Or how much I care….

But, I admire you all,

For being so strong for me,

When I have been so weak,

So lifeless,

And you didn’t leave me…

Thank you.