Good Morning?

I awoke one fine day

On a bright, sunny day

And went to the kitchen to eat

The time was 'bout nine

I was feeling quite fine

But my mood was soon going to cease

For while sittin' there, bakin'

I scorched up my bacon

And my eggs spilled all over the floor

As they lay there, I cursed

Breakfast couldn't be worse

So I cleaned up, deciding against more

Then, just as I chucked 'em

My doorbell rang,!#& them!

And I hastily ran up to change

But the idiot down there

Just wouldn't shut up there

I soon heard a BANG! on the door

My guest was still outside

Still pushing my bad side

So a prank I decided to plot

A balloon I inflated

With a needle, I maimed it

As I yelled out the words, "I'VE BEEN SHOT!!!"

The poor sap was alarmed

Did he think I was harmed?

And he shouted, "I'LL GO GET THE COPS!"

At these words, I was startled

Was he serious? Oh no…

And I ran after him on the street

As I huffed and I puffed

I felt chilly and buff

And I looked down at my bare, freezing feet

I was lacking my clothes

All I had were some hose

And a thong with the wrong day of the week

My alarm then awoke me

Just a dream, though quite kooky

And I traveled downstairs to go eat

As I was cookin' my bacon

I started to shake, and

The doorbell just started to ring