The silver blade flashes

Winking at me

Knuckles white

Hand shaking

I tremble

Gripping the handle

My eyes squeeze shut

I am lost to the room

Swirling into darkness

Dizzying high

It’s time.

A swift smooth movement

Cut

A split second

And…

The “pain” doesn’t hurt

A shock, a surprise

Just a daze

Blood seeps to the surface

Taking the flow of life

Drip, drip, drop.

Splatter on the floor

Feeling numb

Nothingness

Until my senses awaken

Fully processing each sensation

Real pain rushes forth

Finally

Something I can relate to

Make it come back

Slash

It returns

Deadly, fast.

Drag the blade along the skin

Slowly drawing more blood

Puddles on the floor

Red, crimson puddles

How strange.

Knock. Knock.

My heart stops.

It’s my mom.

Calm my voice.

“Yes?”

“Honey,

Are you all right in there?”

Set the knife down

Quietly, don’t make a sound

Place my finger in the blood

My blood…

Still warm

A little sticky

I trace the words on the floor

As I say

“Yes.”

Crawl to the door

Make sure it’s still locked

Sudden exhaustion

I slump against it

Dead to the world

I can’t hear her

“Honey…? Honey!?”