You’ve always been the strong one.
The first to smile and laugh,
And the first to say, “I’m sorry.”
I haven’t always appreciated you
Like I should—
But now, the thought of a life
Without you
Is all too clear in my mind.
It’s sharp, bitter—
Like all the winter’s days we’ve endured,
The ice broken off the front step.
The possibility of you
Not being here
To guide me through life,
To laugh at me and my jokes,
To walk me down the aisle
Makes me want to scream,
And cry without stopping.
Daddy— my daddy—
My father, in all but name—
You have hope, you always have,
But this time, I don’t see
How I can.