How to Write a Good Summary

by Capella Morningside

I browse around the site a lot, for reasons that can be usually traced back to boredom or sheer curiosity, and I see a lot of gems and a lot of crap, too. What I find myself judging the most when I pick out something to read isn’t the content of a summary itself usually, but the way the summary is written. Here are a few points I would like to, well, point out:

The period: Your friend at the end. I cannot emphasize this enough. Please. There is no excuse for not putting a period at the end of your sentences. The simple fact that you were too lazy or disorganized to strike one single completing key doesn’t say anything good about you and your work. Do you just leave out the end of your story too, because you didn’t feel like writing a few more words? I may sound really nagging about this but it is one thing that just drives me nuts. (This is why I can barely stand to talk to people via Instant Messengers as well.)

Capitalization: a fine balance. We all learned in grade school that you capitalize the first letter at the beginning of each of your sentences. Yet again, there’s really no excuse for not following this rule. The worst thing that lack of capitalization does is make you look unprofessional. On the other hand, writing your summary in all caps makes you look just as retarded. People do pre-judge, even I know I am guilty of judging books by the cover (and FP stories by the summary, consequently) and I think to myself, every time I see a summary that looks something like: “this is marys story about the boy she met” I cringe inwardly, my innards twisting into knots only boy scouts know how to tie when I imagine a full story laid out with no capitalization, punctuation or attempt at proper grammar. There are one too many great stories that readers turn their noses up at because the lack of these things just plain makes a story too difficult to read. And I know we all know where our ‘shift’ key is.

Warnings. Sometimes I laugh at the warnings that people put up. A few are understandable considering everyone’s incredibly ‘politically correct’ attitude nowadays. I will admit to my readers this, though: sometimes, the warnings you put up do attract readers (as well as flames sometimes). My all-time favorite sight is when there are so many warnings up on one story that it takes up the entire summary. Frankly, I’m an arrogant bitch. I don’t care if I hurt someone’s feelings, horrify them, or inadvertently make a mockery of everything they stand for. If I don’t do it, someone eventually will and the sensitive reader will deal with it then. If they can’t handle words on a computer screen, what will the slash-hater do when he/she sees two guys kissing on the street? What will the person that nearly has a heart attack reading about hints at incest do when it comes up in the real world in front of their face, or even in their own family? Moving on.

“I suck at summaries.” Come on, guys. This isn’t even worth a paragraph, or at the very least it shouldn’t have to be. Let’s put it this way: First, it’s old and cliché and we’re tired of seeing it. If that wasn’t enough for you, then let me tell you, if you claim to suck at summaries, what makes us believe that you are any good at stories?

Plz R&R! OMGROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!11 This, again, should not be worth a paragraph. But it is, considering there are two things I feel deserve my rant that are wrong with this. Problem A: Internet acronyms. Typing those very words makes the bile rise in the back of my throat and threaten to spill out and cover my keyboard. It makes you look stupid. It makes your readers feel like their IQ is dropping the longer they stare at your pseudo-language in imbecilic wonder. Just please, don’t do it! Problem B: R&R. Not only is that an internet acronym (gag, gag) in itself, it’s another cliché we don’t want to hear anymore. Begging for reviews really gets you nowhere, and besides, if the people thought it was worth their time to read, and they have a shard of intelligence and compassion, they’ll review without your prompting.

So until the next “How to Write a Good...” guide, happy writing!