I’m a Fucking Wreck

(And you’re beautiful through it all)

I wake up from a daze

On a Southbound train

The steady click of wheels along

Iron tracks

Strong enough to hold me together

At least for a little longer

Slowly lull me into a comfortable pace

Nothing looks quite the same

So far past the mason Dixie line

The problems are fleeting

But I guess I was just trying to run away

From something I couldn’t handle

(Something I just didn’t want to handle)

I just couldn’t handle seeing you

(I was too weak to acknowledge your death by my eyes)

Because I wanted to remember you

Just like I remembered you before I left

(It’s always an excuse to escape seeing death)

I’m too confused for tears

(I only wish you were here so I could sing you to your eternal sleep)

And now a friend of seven long years is gone

Everything reminds me of you…I don’t want to forget

(I want to forget so I can stop crying)

Alcohol has been on my lips

Every night since you’ve gone

And now I question why

I couldn’t say good bye

I’m a fucking wreck without you here

Who is it to be the God

Of Life and Death

I just need to get away

(Another train another destination it’s just running away)

Isn’t it funny how I can’t feel the cold anymore

(I’ve been outside for hours staring into nothing)

It’s all a current temperature down here

I can’t even remember my last day with you

But I know I promised you

I’d see you soon

I’m so sorry

That I lied to someone

That meant so much to me

(Every last word I spoke to you was a promise I couldn’t keep)

I never meant to lose touch

I wish I had never left you

(Could I know this was your last day)

All my problems all the complications

In my life

Seem so petty in comparison

To death

So how can I say sorry to death

(How can I say sorry now?)

How can I be awake another night

Without thinking of you…