I can never say what I want to say

I’ve tried and what I say is not what I mean

(I write what I mean)

so I guess it’s a problem.

At any rate, I’m really sort of frustrated.

(It’s an effort to do anything, unfortunately)

I’m a filter, a filter.

(I don’t know how it happened, or when or why)

People pour themselves through me

And emerge on the other side, feeling better.

(I guess I’m just so full of holes.

Dark angry residue like soap scum.)

Because people think I’m trustworthy,

A “really lovely girl”,

And I listen to what they have to say. About shit.

(My mistake...I sound so selfish.)

But fuck it, okay?

I don’t want to be a “really lovely girl” anymore,

People take “really lovely girls” for granted,

People don’t think about “really lovely girls” for long.

(I don’t want to be a “really lovely girl”)

I just want to be a girl.

I want someone to like me because I just happen to be me,

And they like that.

I want someone to like me because I’m me, and not just a willing trash receptacle.