I just need to breathe,

That’s what I need to do.

I’ve been drowning in my thoughts,

And making excuses for everything.

Unacceptable.

-

(Thinking that it would be so much easier

to just fuck all of my morals—and say

goodbye to everything at my last sunset.

But probably not seriously.)

-

So now I’m just standing here (on the

Sidewalk) and waiting for the light to change

To green (waiting for the sign to say “WALK”

‘cause I want to do that—for a long time, really.)

-

I’m sick of red glowing things

(sick of ‘being sick’ too)

And being spattered with mud-slush-water

By passing cars. I want to walk into the next

Four years and I want to be in a

-

really good mood.

-

(The other side of the spectrum really isn’t

as fun as it is sometimes depicted.)

-

I’m glad my jacket has pockets, honestly,

Because otherwise I’d have to find

Something to do with my hands (and I

Never pick the right pastimes.)

-

The sky (glittering like a crystal chandelier) is cold

like the city in the winter, the ice that clings to the trees...

and other, more mundane, things.

-

(It’s really relevant, meaning that apathy is

sometimes sort of “lovely, really” or something like that.

Maybe.)

-

So I’ve settled into a style.

(Finally...after I tried to be to two other people that I thought

I’d wanted to be but never was.)

-

And (anyway) I’m not happy, right now, and not good at all,

And I don’t know why.

In fact I’m still not sure how to breathe.

But, I’m alright really,

Okay

(sortofmaybekindof)

and (I guess) that’s cool too.