I wonder, think—too much?

I didn’t realize what a flaw this is

Until I met you.

Such large fates

Seem to balance

On the smallest things

And I find myself trying

However desperately

To divine entire futures

From the slightest flicker

Of your too-beautiful eyes.

I’ve given up trying

To justify

How much you mean to me

And now…

I wonder: do these things matter—

More or less—

Loving you as I do?

A one-sided assessment—

Love’s made of two

And sometimes I can’t help but wonder

If I’m doublethinking

Trying to convince myself

That one plus zero somehow equals two.

Or that one plus one plus one

Equals one sort of two—

Instead of another—

Insane thoughts, crazy

Things; those that I refuse to tell you.

I try not to think

To try so vainly

Attempting to change these fates

We were born, for whatever purpose,

With.

What happen will.

What is the good of knowing

What this ‘what’ signifies?

Or is this

Merely an excuse for my fear—

Were I to see all—

Would it be gentle on my eyes—

Or so horrifying as to make me blind?

If I knew now

That you’d soon be gone

This time forever

Would I again have the courage to continue on—

Alone?