"Disbelief is reflected in my eyes

I know I swore upon our love

That a razor would touch my skin nevermore

But now I lay here bleeding

Barely breathing

Cursing the promise I knew I couldn't keep

I thought I could do it

Let you help me with the pain

But don't you see that's impossible,

When you've disappeared?

I fell to pieces right in you hands

Fragments of me that you claimed to cherish

Despite the circumstances of why

And how

And when

Supposedly none of that mattered

And yes, I'll admit that for once you were right---

---I do think you'll go back on your word.

My heart says you already did

The moment you stopped trying

The moment you were too busy

The moment you got high.

I want so badly to hate you

To forever erase your memory

Your smile

Your kiss

I want to obliviate it all---

---but I can't,

not yet.

And baby, I'm not sure if I ever could to begin with;

It's like trying to swallow broken glass

Painful and pointless

Because in the end,

All that's left is a mouthful of bloody shards

And a lifetime of mistakes."

3/4/2005