Scene: The End of the Soviet Union

Gorbachev: Pretty please come back?

Lithuania: Uh... no.

Gorbachev: PLEASE?!

Lithuania: Why should I?

Gorbachev: (pauses, looks around wildly) I'll... I'll decentralize!

Yeltsin: WHAT?!

Gorbachev: (turns to Y) Oh, shut up. You’ll end up leading us, anyways. I just wanna get this over with so I can play golf! (turns back to L) So how bout it?

Lithuania: Still no.

Gorbachev: But I decentralized already!

Lithuania: Too bad.

Gorbachev: (feigns heart attack) It’s too much! The Soviet… it’s going… going… gone… (dramatically drops dead out of sight)

Yeltsin: Woohoo, I won! At least… I won Russia. (sits in Gorby’s chair and takes a swig of a bottle)