|The Fine Art of Falling Apart
Author: Beautiful Midnight PM
Boy meets boy. Boy finds out that boy has been cheating on him with other boy. Boy loses boy. Boy falls in love with boy he meets on a teen help line. Your typical love story. (Finished, August 3,2005)Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,996 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 08-03-05 - Published: 04-07-05 - id: 1879520
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
There are times in a person's life that they'll always remember. It could be five, ten, maybe even twenty years down the road, and if they glance at a calendar, they would think to themselves 'Today is the day that I met the love of my life'. Or 'Five years ago today is the first time I got my heart broken'. I don't know if it's sad or just because I'm a hopeless romantic, but most of those special dates relate to one man. First date (April 6th), first kiss, (April 8th), the first time he said 'I love you' (May 2nd).. And the day he ripped my heart out of my chest. (May 30th).
I probably should've started out with a better intro. My high-school English teacher would kill me if I didn't introduce myself. She was always telling me that my introductory paragraph needed work. Hmph. Maybe this is why I'm not a writer, I guess, but this is one of those things that needs to be told. I think it's worth telling, anyway. You be the judge.
My name is Andrew Davies, and I'm your humble protagonist (Did I win some points back for using 'protagonist', Mrs. Walsh?) and sometimes narrator. This is my story. Part of it. If it were my life story, I would've started off with something about it being a stormy night and how I almost died before I was born. (I lived, obviously.) My childhood would fill about a chapter. The juicy stuff started when I met Colin.
I met him when I was visiting my older brother at college – Colin was there as a student. He was twenty-two, and I was sixteen. Of course, at that age, he was a distinguished older gentleman. Now that I'm that age, I just feel old. Not really distinguished.
Colin was charming, funny, smart, and oh. So. Sexy. And here's sixteen-year-old closeted me staring after him like a lovesick puppy. Needless to say, he didn't take too long to catch on that I was lusting after him. Less than a day, in fact. Thank god my brother was in one of his classes, so we had some vague connection. When I was about to leave, he stopped by my car and asked me out. You can say a lot of things about Colin, but you certainly can't call him shy.
Our first date was fairly uneventful. I was too nervous to let him kiss me, so it had to wait until our third date, but our first kiss led to me letting him blow me in the back seat of his car. I was late coming home that night, to say the least.
When I graduated from high school and moved in with my brother a year and a half later, it felt only natural for Colin to move in with me. My brother was wary of the whole thing – he'd only just found out I was gay, and now I was bringing my (much older) boyfriend to live with me? He dealt with it, but he never really warmed up to Colin. He didn't trust him, I guess.
As the years went by, our relationship went through a lot of stages. Newlywed bliss, a comfortable routine, old married couple.. One thing that stayed constant was the sex. Amazing sex. Or, to quote one Tony The Tiger, it was Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat! (I know, I know.. How shameless..)
I thought it was great, anyway. The day after our six year anniversary, Colin suggested a threesome. I was floored, for lack of a better word. Horrified, maybe. Heartbroken. Too many emotions were running through my head. I reluctantly agreed. In the months before that, Colin had been aloof and distant towards me, and I figured this to be my last chance to save our relationship.
When I came home from work, Colin was sitting on my bed – our bed – with a guy that out-hotted me by leaps and bounds. He was barely eighteen, and looking at him, I felt old. Colin could've chosen a guy more "our" age, but he'd gone and grabbed someone younger and hotter than me.
This is not to say, of course, that I didn't enjoy myself. I had many an orgasm that night, but in the back of my mind, there was this pang of worry.. Was I doing the right thing here? I vaguely remembered something about Martian rubber bands from those Men are from Venus or Mercury or Uranus or whatever books.. but when you're sandwiched between two very hot guys, your mind doesn't shoot to literature. (Your mind generally isn't the body part doing the shooting, either.) (I'm so horrible.)
My worst theories came true a couple months later, when he sat me down in our room and sighed.
"Andy, we have to talk.."
My heart tore slightly. ".. Talk?"
"Yeah.. you know that guy we had a threesome with?"
I was going to say his name, but then I had the sudden realization that neither one of them told me his name, and I hadn't asked. I just swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. ".. Yeah.."
"We've been fucking for about four months now."
The tear became a giant rip. "… What?"
"You know as well as I do that our sex life has been .. less than stellar lately.. "
".. Is that because you've been fucking a high school student?" I snapped. He sighed, with a look that said I was overreacting.
I was trying like hell not to start crying. Not until he left, anyway. "How could you do this? I.. I thought.."
"Of course I loved you, Andy.. But it's time for us to go our separate ways.. What? Did you think we'd just.. settle down and get married, or something?" My face fell. I had thought that, to be honest... He saw the look on my face and sighed. ".. Oh. I'm sorry."
"If you were sorry, you wouldn't have fucked him, you goddamned asshole!" I stood up. "Get out."
Colin rolled his eyes. "You're acting like a child, Andrew."
"Does that make you want to fuck me? I've tried everything else."
Andy 1, Colin 0.
Colin shook his head. "I'm just going to get my stuff."
"I'll put it in a box on the front lawn. Get out of my house."
He watched me for a second, and gave in, walking out of my bedroom. I won't lie to you. As soon as the front door closed and I heard his car drive off, I started crying. Like.. crying at the end of 'Moulin Rouge!' crying. It took another week for me to go down to eat, and even then, my brother practically had to forcefeed me.
It felt like part of me was missing; I'd never felt that before, and it hurt. It took a long time to get over him, too. For a long time after, the tiniest little thing would set off the waterworks. If I saw a gay couple getting married on TV, boom. Two men having hot, pornographic sex? Boom.
Finally, after about a year, I went back to school. I knew Colin wasn't coming back, and the smart, sensible part of me didn't want him to. The lonely, desperate part of me would still watch for him some nights.
I didn't see him.
Well, that's my introduction. It gets better, I promise. I mean, once you hit bottom, there's nowhere to go but up, right? Oh. I have one more date to tell you about.
What's important about it? That's when my life started again.