Resurrection

ARC

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memories always wake up, much to my annoyance

I think they are dead and buried

I make myself believe in the imaginary tombstone

of a long and lovely summer, dead forever

but then I recall your love

your love was like mercury in my veins

and the heat kept rising till it burst

that day our mouths were soft new doves

flying together for the first time

crash landing in chaos when I broke your heart

like a fragile glass that falls

spilling its precious wine for no reason

but no one is there but the ghostly memories

the phantoms of my sleepless nights

the ones I try to believe never lived

the ones who overthrow my mind

at two in the morning when I scream your name

where are you now

I loved you constantly, almost subconsciously

and you adored my imperfections

right down to the inkblots on this paper heart

you never did understand my hidden continent of longing

the empty desert that inevitably drew me

to you, my lotus blossom

with eyes of deep water in which to drown

perfect crystal oceans to capture me, gently

so that I may sleep forever

just let the tide carry me away

into sunsets and heartbeats

you never did understand this hidden world in my head

that lives on in dreams and nightmares

very early some mornings

when the thought of you jolts me awake

shivering and sobbing

where are you now

we were children at the lake and the fish never came

your strong piano hands encased mine

your mouth was all I needed for an afternoon

you never spoke my name

we wanted nothing

the air was thick and the sun was still up

and the grass shone like the light of your eyes

my hands embraced your wonderful neck

your skin was warm like rock at noon by the waterfall

to keep holding you through september was a stretch

but with october came the collapse of everything

my teardrops splattered your sleeve

as you said everything you could to stop it

when I fell and shattered

and took your heart down with me into darkness

the hidden comfort of my blackest thoughts

the lonely corner you never could see or touch

that part you never knew but loved all the same

where are you now