Don't you just love those days when nothing in particular seems to be going the way you'd hoped it to? Such a day was occurring with twenty-year-old Gretchen Walsky. It had started with a flat tire, and it had ended with her pouring her heart out over two cups of coffee, in a cheap restaurant situated in the middle of practically nowhere. At least, nowhere of much importance.

Gretchen was almost positive by now that she was cursed by some unknown force. Either that, or someone was getting sick pleasure from watching her past ruin any hope in her dimly looking future. She knew exactly who that person was, as well. Even though he was not watching her, Gretchen knew that Jack would be laughing now (wherever he was) at her pathetic excuse for a life.

And wherever Jack was, Gretchen hoped he was as miserable as possible.

Not a day went by when she didn't think about him, or hoped that he suffered as much as she had and still did. Every morning she looked into the mirror and found herself staring into the eyes of someone who was terrified of life and of living. She saw a tongue lick over healed, yet deeply scarred lips and was nearly shocked when she felt the sensation. This girl in the mirror should not have been her. It could have been anyone else, but it had to be her.

She still couldn't hate Jack, no matter how hard she tried. Jack had given her anything she wanted-- anything save for freedom. For a time that didn't make a difference, for she was too blinded by love to realized Jack was slowly and surely manipulating her. In fact, she didn't notice until it had gotten too bad to do anything about. In Jack's own twisted, weird way, he loved her more than anyone ever could. And she loved him, she knew that and he knew that.

It was true that even now she missed how thoroughly he'd examine her body. She missed the embarrassment she'd feel when he did so. It wasn't her fault that Jack had gone over the edge. Even if she had slept with other guys, Jack had been the one to go overboard. Most couples would talk out their differences and the solution would be for Gretchen to stop being a slut and for Jack to give her some breathing space before he suffocated her.

Instead, Gretchen was tortured and then kicked out and Jack was as insane as ever.

When she left, she hadn't bothered to even change her name so that Jack could not find her. She knew that if he wanted to seek her out, he could regardless of a switched name. Although she highly doubted he'd search for her, but perhaps just put up "Lost Pet" signs in neighboring towns. Gretchen mused on this thought for a moment and realized that was all she ever was to him. She wasn't a lover, an equal; she was his object, his pet. An animal he would have slaughtered if she had stayed with him any longer.

But that didn't mean she didn't miss him. She ached for arms around her again, for a constant companion, for indulgence, for love. She had avoided most relationships for the entire year since her last. Men called her something beautiful and she politely thanked them and walked away. Jack had never called her beautiful. Did it make her crazy to still be in love with him, after everything? Looking back on it, their relationship was always nothing less of a train explosion. And now that she was rid of it, she denied any chance of starting anew. It was that which made her believe in the capacity of her sanity. Or rather, lack of.

Now, that wasn't to say Gretchen hadn't had a relationship since Jack. Shortly over three months ago, she'd starting dating a fine young man. He was respectable enough to everyone, due to being raised in a strictly well-mannered home. They were happy together, she supposed. They shared similar interests, he was a good lover, and nice, too. Gretchen needed nice in her life.

So why was it that she found Jonathan absolutely boring? His radical theories on the history of life's beginning did not interest her in the least. His jokes were humorous but they were planned, for he wasn't quick witted or sharp-tongued. Most of all, his methods of affection dulled her more than aroused her.

She couldn't help but stay with Jonathan, though. Overall, Gretchen felt she owed the young man her body in exchange for his help. It was only shortly after leaving Jack that she realized her impregnation. Gretchen was positive it was Jack's child, for their "goodbye sex" had been the only time any of her lovers hadn't used a condom.

Gretchen had met Jonathan a week after she'd began her new life. He supported her, she moved in with him, and they had meaningless sex until Jonathan confessed his love to her. For a moment she believed she'd be happy with Jonathan-- that they could start a life together and have a wondrous future.

That moment ended today when she realized it was impossible with plain and serious Jon.

Gretchen touched the pouch on her stomach where body fat still rested, but no baby greeted her hand with a kick. She'd never let anyone make important decisions dealing with her life, but when Jonathan suggested adoption it seemed to be a practical idea.

She did miss Jack. She missed both of them; her lover and her baby boy.

That was the exact reason she had started a roadtrip to the destination of her child and his adoptive parents. Gretchen wanted her son back. She knew returning to Jack would be dangerous, so at least their child could give Gretchen half of Jack. Now that her mind had made it's choice, there was no changing it.

Gretchen threw two dollar bills on the counter and quietly walked out the diner door, and towards her future.