I’m awake, I don’t open my eyes but I know it. Reality has wrapped itself around me and I’m totally aware that I’ve arisen out of the troubling dreams that I can’t even remember.

Remember? I can’t remember a thing. I know what names are and that I don’t remember mine, I know that I should know where I am but I can’t remember that either. There are probably about a hundred other things I can’t remember but I can’t go over them, mainly because I don’t know where to start.

I shiver; the reality that wrapped around me is cold and dry, not cold enough to hurt me, just cold enough that I wish I was wearing more than just a pair of pants. I open my eyes.

White, all I see is white. I sit up, wincing from the sharp pain in the left side of my brain. I am in a small room; it is so white that the lights shining from the ceiling reflect off of the walls and the floor, glaring white streaks that burn my eyes. I cross my arms and feel bandages over sore spots on the crooks of my elbows. My chest is pale and scarred, three white lines crisscrossing on my naked pectoral muscles.

I stand up shakily, my right leg gives out and I fall against the smooth wall. I’ve been asleep a long time, everything’s really bleary. I force myself to stand up; my head hurts a little less and my eyes hurt a little more. I spot a door in front of me, there’s no handle.
I push hard on it and it doesn’t budge, it feels like steel and it is bolted in place. I shove and shove until my shoulders are bruised and my leg muscles are aching for some relief. I sit back down in a corner and my mind closes up on itself. I’m trapped, no way out.

For hours, maybe days I just retreat into my skull, blurry unformed thoughts welling up in my brain. I slept a little and waiting a lot, not moving, not trying to think too hard. There are probably still drugs in me; I’ve got to let them wear off.

I doze off again but wake up suddenly. No way of telling how long I was asleep this time but the door hangs wide open. I waste no time in stepping out into a sterile hall with white doors all along the sides. I’m glad to see colors like gray and black, I was sick of white.

No time to think, I head down the hall, not sure why I get this cold feeling in my stomach.