Lost

I don’t know how much longer I’ll last, doomed to die. Either way I choose I’m alone, no easy way out. Farther and farther I push away my instincts, my cravings. What good will it do? I have yet to find out. But I can’t hurt them can I? This is so hard I can’t even think.

Even as I lie here in bed I cannot sleep. I can here their pulses, all different. Maybe I’m just hallucinating I don’t know. But I don’t know how much longer I can lie here. I stand out of bed; I haven’t slept in nights. I try but it never comes to me. The cold carpet floor greets me and involuntary I walk to the bathroom. I am so thirsty and gobble up the water from the faucet. My thirst won’t cease no matter how much I drink.

I look over at the clock flashing 2:41. There’s no one awake at 2:41. Some people don’t even exist at 2:41.

2:41.

2:41.

2:42.

A minute’s passed and I feel no different. My teeth ache and my mouth is dry. I’m so thirsty, so thirsty. My head spins, the pulses growing louder. I’ve got to be hallucinating. I’ve got to prove myself and get out of here.

Heading out into the hallway I can hear their pulses louder. I can hear mom and dad down the hall and dad snoring softly. I can hear my sister’s pulse, slow and lulling me to her door. Slowly I turn the knob. What am I doing?

I walk in the room shutting it silently behind me. I see her laying in bed sprawled out, Barbie dolls scattered on the floor. I maneuver my way to her. The room is silent. I’m alone, just me and her. Her pulse no longer resonates through my head, yet I can hear her breathing.

She’s laying on her side, her neck exposed. I can see, almost feel, her blood pumping through her neck. I can’t stop myself from touching it, tracing those blue veins. I feel my saliva thicken, as my thirst grows stronger. I can feel the warmth of her blood as her neck flexes and unflexes with each breath. I’m so close to her as I open my mouth.

Transfixed I just watch as her skin tightens and then shake my head. What am I doing? I panic at the edge of her bed and turn away, backing up quickly and going to my room. I couldn’t hurt her. She’s my sister. I wasn’t going to do anything just check if I was hallucinating. I sit on the floor of my room. Ah, the pulses, they’re coming back now. That dull thumping sound driving me insane. And all I can think of is I’m so thirsty.

My teeth ache.

Thump, thump.

I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Thump, thump.

I’m just so

So,

Thump, thump.

Thirsty.

Thump.