Why?

Why am I always the odd one out? Why is it I always fall for the wrong girls? Why do I have a problem with him around her? Why is it that I want to cry – but I can’t? why do all these things come crashing down on me at once?

I thought we were doing well, me and her. The female who shall remain nameless. We got along well, started getting closer in a “more than friends” way – so what the fuck happened? I know what happened. It was HIM. He pranced around like a fucking idiot and was the centre of attention! That idiot ripped away any sort of love we had and claimed her for himself! Fucking freak – thinks he’s the only one around her that likes her! Jesus Christ! I told her myself that she was beautiful! She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever lain eyes on!

And now she’s gone. Well, not gone. She’s his, she just doesn’t know it yet. He hangs around her, puts his head on her shoulder and treats her like she’s his! I can’t compete with him, how can I? he’s got everything a girl could want, and then some! He’s got three grand in the bank, a steady job and good grades! I’ve got nothing in the bank, no steady job and bottom of the barrel grades. He’s got more friends than I’ll EVER have and now he’s added her to his list. Well, I guess that I can say that I got to her on the “friend” stage before him.

That’s a start I guess. It’s what I have to be content with now. She’s his. I wish to any God above that she wasn’t with him and I don’t care if she’s not with me! Just…well, I don’t know. When I’m around her, she lights up the room. Her eyes are twin sparkling orbs of pure beauty and delight. She’s quiet, but when she talks, she’s amazing. She smells good and looks even better. Her hair is like a soft, black waterfall – flowing steadily and soft to the touch. Her heart is kind, caring, loving and sincere. I love her with all my body, mind and soul – but most importantly, I love her with all my heart.

And that pains me.

It pains me because she’s with a guy that probably wants to add her to his list of conquests. I don’t want that. I want to love her, cherish her and be with her – hopefully until I die. She is the one for me. I can feel it in my heart, my heart that pangs for her every time I see her; and in my soul, which stretches out to bee with hers. I truly love her, but I’m powerless to stop it from happening in front of my eyes. What can I do to win her love? I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll set her free, that’ll make her happy.

If she’s happy, I’m happy.

That’s all there is to it.