I have absolutely no idea where this story came from...My mind makes up the weirdest things..It may be a bit poitless,but I am proud of this piece of work still...And please forgive me for my spelling errors,English is not my mother tongue,I come from Scandinavia.

Hearts of Ice

In the heart of ice lies the frozen emotion that yet has to be released...It may be well hidden deep within,but no matter how hard we try to surpress it,it wont be defeated...The intensity of emotions should never be underestimated,as it can only end in pain by doing so...

Water dripping onto the surface,the crystal pool of endlessness that seems to fill my mind.Why does this happen everytime I close my eyes to sleep?I have no answer to that question,yet I keep asking myself.Ice takes the form of roses and sakura petals that dance along the water in an everlasting gesture of motion.and I lay in the middle of it all,floating comfortably with my eyes closed,yet being able to see the dance of roses.There is a thin wall of nothingness between me and the cold that fills this place.Sometimes I ponder upon when this wall will break and cold will consume me,devour me and leave me to never wake up again.But I cant bother myself to worry about a thing as I keep floating,the numbness filling my head being so..easing...it is certainly relieving to be rid of all thoughts,every hint of worry,responsibility and emotion.In this place I am free,though held captive at the same time.Can you understand?

His eyes slowly opened to be met by the darkness of his room.Somewhere far away the faint sound of water hitting the ground could be heard.Soft pink lips parted,sucking in precious air.Another night was about to vanish,being replaced by the dim,golden light that came over the hills.Shadows were chased away,forced to hide in every corner and creak they could find not to be eaten by the sun and its sevants,waiting for the night to fall once again.

Somehow waking up felt strange this morning,yet this morning seemed to be just like any other he had woken up too.Still he knew there was something different about it,something yet to be revealed by the hours that passed by.Puzzled by this strange feeling stuck in his chest he sat up,letting the bedcovers fall of his naked torso,displaying pale white skin with such smoothness that he seemed god-like in all his paleness.His skin had a slight glow to it,the sunlight seemed to dance along his muscular arms as it flowed through his window,ike it was welcoming him,carressing him with its featherlight touches.But no matter how the sunlight warmed him,he still felt dead cold at its touch,felt the need to get away and hide before it burned him.It had happened before,the sun had left him hurt,his skin no longer as pale as before,no longer as smooth.After that he had taken a liking to the dark instead,to its coolness and velvety amosphere.

The dark never welcomed him,yet he could feel it stir everytime he entered it,letting it surroud him.While others found the dark gloomy and frightening,he found nothing to fear about it.It was rather soothing to open ones eyes to the calm darkness of night.People had been asking him if he was alright,did he get enough sleep,did he need something?No answer would escape his parted,soft lips whenever they asked,and they would leave him alone,thinking he was in need of solitude.He didns blame them of course,the problem lay within himself.really just wanted to be able to say that he was ok,there was nothing wrong,that he didnt need anything at all.

Somehow they didnt seem to understand the ice in his heart.He had never asked for anything,that was not within his nature to do.And closing everyone out of his thoughts seemed like the right thing to do.He had never been taught otherwise to act,never been taught to act open-hearted.They said they were his friends,yet he held no feelings for them,held no love for their faces or eyes.Sometimes when they looked at him their gaze seemed to pierce his soul,to leave him and all his secrets naked in the wasteland for them to see.He would always turn his head away,refusing to look at any of them.And no matter how many times they asked him what was wrong,he couldnt give them any proper answer,never did he say anything but assure them that he was fine,that nothing was wrong.

Parts of it was true.He didnt feel like anything was wrong with him,he felt like he always had.Solitude had always been a part of himself,and he had never tried to chase it away,knowing that such a thing was impossible.The feeling seemed dull,something numb,but never aching as so many said.It never bothered him to be alone,it was rather comfortable to not hear the everyone voice their worry in front of him...Even worse was it when he heard them talking behind his back,whispering among themselves about him,about his pale white skin,the way he distanced himself from them.He wasnt normal,they said,he was some ghost from another world beyond this.Then some would ask how it was possible that he could walk this earth if he was a ghost,and they would be left clueless until the next time it was brought up to be whispered of.

His eyes were compared to the substance of ice,or the cold mist of a grey Winter morning,one of those morning there were so many of here in this land where Winter was everlasting.Some had even dared say that he was carrying Winters Heart,while other would ridicule them for saying so,others again would nod in agreement or quietly glance at him from the corner of their eyes.They kept whispering,their voices nothing but faint sounds in his head as he walked past them with his head raised high.

One would think that these statements would hurt such a young soul as himself...But they didnt.He felt nothing regarding them,their worry or their assumptions.There was something about what they said that made him think they were right.All around he could see people display emotions,express their feelings in a hug or a loud,angry voice.All around he could see young people interact with each other,always hanging out with each other,always in the company of someone else.It puzzled him greatly that neither of the people around him seemed to bare solitude and its lonely company.Was he just different?Were the people around him what was real?Was he just a ghost,like they said,in this world?To him either of those were likely.His mind could never come up with an answer to questions like that.But he never pressed the matter,leaving the questions to rest at the back fo his mind until next time.

His friends...as they called themselves,they had been acting strangely towards him lately,not letting him as close as before.Maybe they had realised that he would never let them in on himself or his thoughts.He would wander through life being the emotionless boy that no one understood,forever en enigma to the average human being.School was something he just couldnt care for,it seemed far away to him.The teachers had given up on him a long time ago,feeling despair at this boy that always seemed to be dreaming or drifting away from them.So they let him drift away,not knowing how they could save him or bring him back.

As the sun had barely woken up the air was still cold as he stepped outside,his feet bare against the ground.To him the world appeared to be frozen,stuck in time.Nothing ever changed in this landscape of trees and snow.walking across the garden he came to the fence that held the barrier between the woods and this little place that his mother called their shelter.He felt no need to be sheltered,there was nothing out there to fear in his opinion.Eyes of ice widened slightly by the realisation that this was just like the dream that had been filling his head whenever he slept for the last years.He wasnt floating..but there was a barrier,and he was about to break it.Did that mean that the barrier in his dream would break soon aswell?He didnt know...Dreams had always been a mystery to him.

Reaching out his hands his skin touched the rough wood.He had his heart in his throat as he started climbing it,feeling his feet leave the ground to be placed against the fence.He had many a time climbed a tree or a fence..But this was nothing like it.If he passed and let his feet touch the ground on the other side..then he simply knew something would happen.And he wanted to find out what this something was,for good or evil,it didnt matter.To him it was all the same,two sides of the same cause.Good was never complately good,like you heard of in the fairytales,it could turn evil in the blink of an eye.Every heart held the seed of evil,and to some it was just a matter of time before it sprung and fested in the soul of a poor being.

His heart was pounding heavily in his head as he sat on top,the sound of the blood being rushed through the weins making his head swirl.But even though his vision was blurry,he could still focus,could still see through the shrouded mist that clouded his sight.He could always see,he knew that.Even in the darkness,even with his eyes closed he could still see.But what he saw could change,somtimes leaving him dazed or confused in his lonely mind.It was like he was always stuck in a half-world,a world between reality and the dimension of dreams.And to cross the boundaries..one day it would happen,and he didnt know which world he would fall into.

In his own quiet mind he had already made his decision,he needed to find out what was on the other side,needed to find out what awaited him there.Making contact with the ground again there was a breath of wind,the breeze gently playing with his spiky,red hair.Leaning his head backwards his lips curled into the tiniest of smiles,the song of the wind soothing him with its tender and careful strokes.Such a sweet feeling had never filled himbefore in his life,and all his memories seemed to be vanishing from his mind,leaving him empty.

Determined to keep going he took a step forward towards the big fields,then when he was certain that his feet would carry him he took another step.he kept telling himself to just take one more step,then another and soon he would be there.Where was there?He didnt know,nor did he care as long as he got there.

The world seemed to change around him as he walked,becoming a swirl of colours and shades,neither of them holding a compact shape or contour.He couldns blame them.Shadows and shades needed to hide,just as humans...They just had a different way of doing it,blending in with the surroundings not to be discovered.Their emotions and secrets would forever stay a secret as no human could catch a shadow,or even communicate with them.That made him wonder though.Why was he the only one that appeared to understand them?Why was he the only one that could feel them stir and tell where they hid?It had never occured to him as strange,though normal people might be scared os his unusual behaviour.But what was considered normal?In all his life no one had been able to answer that question of his,and he had given up on it.Maybe someday the shadows would grant him the answer.

Suddenly he found himself standing in a field of flowers,reaching his knees.There were so many colours,he had never seen anything like it before.His world had always held the shades of black and white,never anything as vibrant as this.They all seemed to be speaking to him,gentle whispers blown in the wind,yet he could not understand what they were saying.How come that he had never seen this place before?It looked like it was something from a dream,another dimension among all dull and grey ones.But it wasnt fair to ask questions.One should not voice a question that might change everything and leave you with nothing.

Everything was floating,he it felt like walking on unsteady ground,almost like water.Glimpses of petals and roses shaped in ice took place in his mind.This was nothing like his dream,yet it was the same in a way he could not explain.His body was swaying in the mild breeze,his icy eyes closing to enjoy the carress of tender touches that lead him on in the field of colours.In the middle of it all the field seemed to be neverending to his eyes,all he could see were those flowers,they clouded his sight with white spots.The breeze urged him to raise his head and look at the sky,and he found it impossible to not obey its will.

Never in his life had he seen anything as brilliant as the clear,blue sky above.It seemed to draw him in,and he drank in every glimpse he could get,afraid to close his eyes.Something so hypnotic...something so thrilling..It filled his body with a tingling sensation that sent shivers down his spine.White,little lights were forming in his eyes,exploding into fierce shades of blue.It was trapping him in,the white mist filling the air,though it didnt seem white in his eyes.To him,the world was as it had never been before,a sparkling illusion of colours,whirling and twisting by every move he made,dancing along his skin.As it kept spinning in front of his eyes,something happened to him,a bubbling feeling he had never felt before making his lips curl into a bright,childish smile,as those you see with a happy five year old.Maybe everything wasnt just shades of black and white after all,he thought.Dancing along withthe sparkling lights the seed within his heart sprung to life,still weak and fragile,but not froze in ice anymore.

In the heart of ice lies the frozen emotion that yet has to be released...It may be well hidden deep within,but no matter how hard we try to surpress it,it wont be defeated...The intensity of emotions should never be underrestimated,as it can only end in pain by doing so...

Yours sincerly,Kanilla