6:42am 4/4/05 (writing before I even get dressed...)

Ripe for the picking.

"My girlfriend called you a fake the other day," he said hesitatingly, stirring the olive around in his glass.

She watched him and smiled sweetly. "Well, I'm sorry that she feels that way." But she wasn't sorry at all.

Moody and vulnerable...he was just asking to be taken away.

---

"Did I look rather pathetic to you when I was up there at any time?"

It was a game we always played with each other. Pre-packaged self-worth.

"No, not especially. You could have done something more with your hands but otherwise it went off great." The appropriate pause, not at all uncomfortable. "What about me? Did I look dumb to you?"

"No." You're beautiful.

My heart pulsed the things I couldn't say.

---

Afterwards I held her, my arms wrapped around her skinny frame and resting on her stomach. I couldn't hear her breathing but I felt her chest moving slowly up and down. My throat was raspy but I took a chance.

"I-"

"Don't say it."

Outside, the shrill birds began their morning ritual of scolding everyone out of bed. It must have been five in the morning already.