A Change

8:23 pm

Tonight started as any other - I decided to procrastinate and spend inordinate amounts of time online instead of doing homework. And I had music on in the background, Shawn Colvin. That's always a necessity, whether to distract myself or just have my brain barraged from several places... the computer, the cd player, and the food that I eat while not typing. Typical self-indulgent time.

Along with this, I practice my odd habit of sitting on my legs in such a way that they fall asleep after about a half hour. I find it nearly impossible to sit normally - my legs are either resting on top of the CPU, crossed on the chair, or nestled squishily between my bottom and the seat. Why, I don't know. It's just one of my eccentricities. But tonight I was sitting on them, having decided not to risk my computer's well being by possibly kicking it. And lo and behold, my legs fell asleep. They went tingly for a while, then they were dead. This feeling was quite nice, and I'm used to it, so I just kept on surfing the internet.

Of course I dreaded the time that I had to get up, because then the blood would rush back into my legs, causing bad tingling and pain that usually causes me to hop around and grimace. But I didn't want to stay seated, because depriving my legs of blood flow for too long could cause permanent nerve damage. I didn't want that. Plus, I had to pee. Badly. So I got up, not yet feeling a thing.

Usually I wobble for a while, and sometimes fall down, before regaining sensation. But this time... I felt balanced. No close encounters between the floor and my face. Except I still didn't feel my legs. It was as though they were gone. I looked down, and they were still there. But they no longer felt like a part of me, even when I poked myself in the calves. And yet I could walk. I had my mind tell my legs to move, and they did. But they still weren't me. And due to this fact, it didn't feel like I was walking. It felt as though I were floating three feet above the ground.

Needless to say, this was creepy, and a bit exciting. Did this mean I could fly? I jumped with my phantom limbs, and flapped my arms a little, but I felt the same. I looked down again, and gasped. My legs were gone. All I could see was the bottom end of my torso, then nothing. What was left of me was floating several feet in the air. I tried to move. This time, when I sent signals to what used to be my legs, telling them to walk, nothing happened. Wonderful. I would be stuck with no legs in the living room, unable to move. And then I'd have to explain it to my incredulous parents when they asked me to take out the garbage.

But I had to do something. I thrust my head and chest forward, willing myself to move. Surprisingly enough, I did, and floated forward a few yards before stopping in shock. What was going on? I wanted to experiment more, see if I could float up to the ceiling and such, scare my parents... but first there was the matter of emptying my bladder, which still existed in the remaining section of my body.

My head leading the way, I sped to the bathroom to relieve myself. Let me tell you, pulling down one's pants and going to the bathroom when one doesn't have legs is strange. I can't even describe it. Let's just leave it at that.

After washing my hands, I floated toward the stairs, to see if I could ascend all the way to the ceiling without being constrained to the steps. I could, and did. Does that qualify as flying? I don't know, but it was amazing. I entertained myself for a few minutes, flying up and down the stairs without nearing the steps themselves. I guess I went too fast, because next thing I knew, I had hit my head on the ceiling and tumbled down to the floor below. Ow.

After regaining my bearings, I realized I was laying in an awkward position, my legs twisted to the side and my head against my knees.

Wait. Legs? Knees? When did they come back? I tentatively ran my hand down my right leg, and was amazed to find that I could feel again. Getting to my feet, I realized that I could stand normally. I tried to fly, willing my head and mind forward, but nothing happened. I could walk again, but had lost the power of flight.

Now I type this, dissapointed. Yes, it was the dissapearance of my legs that made me fly, but that loss wasn't as bad as losing my sudden gift. As I sit here at the computer, Shawn Colvin playing in the background, I hope for the change back. I have some faith I will be able to fly again. After all, I am sitting on my legs, and they are beginning to go numb.

Sara

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