Authoress' Ramblin':

This is a little side story that came to me one night. Boredom is a VERY lethal weapon. Hope u like. If u don't, shruggs It's not that big-a deal... Though i can tell u this much: whispers I was ultimatly BORED when writting this... and it was like 2 am or somethin'... SO, may b somethings aren't goin to make sense... Blah! Go and Read, and Then Tell me What Yah think!!

The History of Duckism

There was a time, where time did not exist. The people in this time knew noting, they did not know bad nor evil. But they did not know good either. (Hey, that rimes!!) There was nor God of goodness, nor a God of Illness. They felt lost and hollow inside. And one day, they decided they shall set out to search for their savior, for the one that will fill their hearts with feelings they had yet to experience. So the people decided a tiny group for the journey, they prepared themselves and off they went. They came upon a horse, but it only kicked at them as they tried to pet it. They found a moose near by, and they were attracted to it by its big antlers, but it chased them away. Soon enough they met a dear, but it pounced away as they came. They saw a monkey jumping around in the braches of a high tree, they tried to do the same, but they always ended up in the floor. And so they kept on, stopping only to drink water and sleep. And in one of those stops they ended up in a shallow pond. They sat down to rest their aching feet. They were tired and defeated. After a while they decided to head back empty-handed, but as they started to stand………. A duck passed by. They were mesmerized by the way the duck walked and quacked at them. It kept walking in circles as they approached it until it sat down in the middle of the circle they had made. It looked around at them, and they looked at it without blinking. One of them finally stepped forward and caught it slowly. They brought it back and fed it and praised it. They even made a house for it. They where so happy with their Duck, they started a clan called Duckism, where you go and worship The Duck. And they stayed like that for many years to come……. Until the pigeons came!! They came little by little. No one suspected anything. The only signs of rebellion they showed was that they pooped everything. And even that seemed normal: everyone poops you know!! And so, days passed, months, and even years, and no one noticed what the pigeons were planning. Until it happened: The pigeons attacked The Duck and killed it!! Everyone was aroused. A new feeling consumed their hearts: a mixture of fear, confusion and desperation overflowed in everyone’s hearts. The pigeons took the chance and enslaved them. Soon enough the Evil butterflies came too. They had a war: the pigeons and the butterflies, they decided to be allies. And then, not so soon, but soon after the pact between the pigeons and butterflies was done, evil green monkeys started to fall from the sky. They ate the pigeons and you really don’t want to know what they did to the butterflies… (readers eyes widen) No you perv!! But if you must know, they caught them with nets, placed them on glass jars, and placed the jars near their toilets. The had or killed themselves, or died of lack of fresh air or intoxication of “fartteness’. And now the monkeys have control. Soon their masters came along: the purple aliens. Why are they their masters you ask? Simple, The evil monkeys where trained by the purple aliens in a planet called “PinkSuX”. They are highly dangerous, and the are trained to seek and destroy sluts, and as an added bonus, the ones that use and/or buy them. But the aliens have spoiled them by letting them “pop” air headed bitches whenever they want. So now that you know who they are, I don’t think they really want to know who you are, or maybe who (or better said how) your insides look like! And they have only one fatal weakness: bananas!! The Duck has resurrected as a zombie, but they recognize him by the way he walks. And they follow him into war against the monkeys and the aliens. Bananas at hand they went to their doom!! They fought and fought, blood everywhere. After days of endless violence the aliens stopped and said: “Fuck this shit! MONKEYS!! Come now, we leave!! This is too much trouble for such a primitive planet!!” And with that they left. The humans and their Zombie Duck celebrated until a blind woman with a piece of cart-board saying: “there is no Duck!! The end is near” passed by screaming “Why do you celebrate? Are you celebrating your last day in this place? We are all doomed!! THE END IS NEAR!! THEY WILL CO-” But before she could finish, the Zombie Duck pounced on her and killed her. Afterwards everyone was shocked by his behavior. But they soon kept on with the party, until they noticed a certain star. It was red, and it kept increasing in size. It reached the point that the whole sky was cover by a blood red energy and the star or the thing kept coming closer. The blind lady half dead said: “See… I told you….. Now…. We’re dead……” And just as she said this the “star” reached the planet and blasted it into bazillion pieces.
Millions of millions of light years away there could be seen a tiny red planet, planet PinkSuX where the purple aliens and the green monkeys were having the time of their lives laughing at the stupidity of the human race.