The summer sun gazed lazily down upon the wild palace gardens, throwing shimmering white crystals into the water of the pool and creeping stealthily beneath the high collars of the fashionable courtiers scattered haphazardly across lawns the color of unripe limes. Many seemed to be enjoying a leisurely game of Scottish log-throwing, while others were simply strolling through the labyrinth of trees and admiring the chaotic tangles of flowers in full summer bloom. The timid shoots that had sprung from the soil in the spring had exploded in an uncontrollable myriad of colors, climbing the cobblestone walls marking the perimeter of the gardens and spilling onto the lawns.

A large crowd had, however, clumped together near a huge, imposing stone structure covered in ivy. The majority of them were engaging in idle Dungeons & Dragons board games and eating haggis with liberal amounts of catsup. A few were cloud-gazing, content and ambivalent.

Not far away, in a shady area that received the summer breeze like a hot breath down one’s back, a young woman in a startling neon orange dress was attempting to lift a large, comatose alligator onto a delightfully, fashionably dilapidated stone stage. A golden crown atop her head glittered in the sunlight, encrusted with diamonds and rubies. “Could you help me with this?” asked the queen as she stepped onto the stage.

A man in a large, floppy black hat with several neon feathers arranged dashingly atop it rushed up to her and relieved of her of the heavy burden. “Thank you.” Queen Maria Chaqueta Annemezelda said sincerely to the man, who was called Fernando under most circumstances, though he went by several other names too. Queen Maria Chaqueta Annemezelda shuffled over to the left end of the stage, away from Fernando, and removed the black frying pan that had previously been strapped to her back. A gigantic brass gong stood before her, and she whacked it with her frying pan several times. The resounding rush of sound sent birds rocketing into the air and caused several courtiers to jump and drop logs onto their feet or spill haggis down their shirtfronts.

Everyone knew what had to be done, however, and they stood and made their way to Queen Maria Chaqueta Annemezelda on the eastern side of the gargantuan stone castle that was their home (though the courtiers whose feet had been injured by giant falling logs came at a slightly slower pace). The summer heat coiled about them as they tried to slice through it by moving. Upon reaching Queen Annemezelda, they sprawled across the lawn before the stage, attention focused on her.

Queen Annemezelda clapped her hands together and beamed down at the assembled courtiers like a radiant goddess with a gap in her front teeth and unruly red hair like wildfire. Spreading her bare feet apart on the stage, toenails acid green, Annemezelda spoke loudly and clearly, frying pan clutched in her hand. “Today we will begin brainstorming. For ideas. I wish to write a play!” She paused to let her statement settle. Then, she counted on one hand, “It can be about turtles, octopuses, aliens, pirate-cowboy-platypi. Pusses. Whatever.” She trailed off before beginning again. “I want you all to get into groups of three and start coming up with ideas. When you each have ten, give them to Fernando!” The latter bowed with a flourish, grinning dashingly and appearing nonchalant. “Begin!”

The courtiers did as commanded, dividing into trios and diving vigorously into brainstorming for the play despite the intense summer heat and lack of water. Queen Maria Chaqueta Annemezelda walked over to the alligator, unconscious and drugged, that lay near Fernando. Looking from the alligator to the crowd of frantic, panicked courtiers developing severe headaches just behind the temples, Queen Maria Chaqueta Annemezelda’s smile faded and the twinkle in her eye disappeared.

“Fernando!” She cried suddenly and dramatically (the loud crack of noise, her shout, had caused several courtiers to jump). Throwing a hand up near her forehead in a horrid imitation of daintiness, she added, “This bores me. Who came up with the idea of writing a play anyway?! Whoever it was, have them beaten to death with seven ferocious flamingos for their stupidity! Honestly, that much thinking, in this heat?! Oh, it’s horrible, horrible, Fernando!” Queen Maria Chaqueta Annemezelda jumped into Fernando’s strong arms, stealing his big, floppy hat and placing it on her head. It covered her flashing, vibrant green eyes, and she had to pull it back in order to see. “Get someone to take the alligator with us, Fernando. I want to go to the pool.”

Fernando nodded complacently and jumped nimbly off of the charmingly dilapidated stone stage. A boy in a neon green jumpsuit, dotted with pink hearts, ran up to the alligator and pulled it, with great difficulty, off the stage by its tail. The resulting thump was unbearably loud in the oppressive heat, slicing through the minds of the courtiers like the hiss of the guillotine rushing in for the kill.

“I wish for a pool party! Come, subjects, to the pool! It’ll be grand!” Queen Maria Chaqueta Annemezelda shouted over Fernando’s shoulder, all radiant smiles and laughter like the peal of bells. Vaguely, in the back of her mind, Queen Annemezelda thought it was a good thing that Fernando’s black evening clothes and cape didn’t clash horridly with her neon orange dress, but that was neither here nor there, really. “Be there or be chewed into tiny Kibbles and Bits by a herd of rabid chinchillas!” She added, to the horror of her courtiers.

Rushing and tripping over each other in their haste to reach the pool before the Queen and her servant did, one can be sure that a few of them (in the parts of their minds that weren’t consumed by mindless, soul-numbing terror) were wondering what summer would be like in a Democratic Republic.

--written for English/Grammar/Reading/Language Arts/Erotic Basket Weaving class awhile ago. My ending is so cheesy I couldcry. Lol. But I sort of like it, so up it goes. I 3 "Timberwolves at New Jersey"... but that's neither here nor there really...