Author: Mischevious Productions PM
An unlikely pirate crew search for the answers to a mysterious artifact which holds strange powers.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,857 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 01-30-06 - Published: 04-22-05 - id: 1892892
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"ugh. That took forever, my legs are so cramped." Naomi announced with a stretch. Ace was next to walk out of the boat. He remained silent as he put away his deck of cards.
"So, what now?" Ace asked as he turned to Naomi. She remained silent. "Well!?"
"I'm thinking, we might've had a clue if someone wasn't so eager to turn tail and run."
"…Arms…S-so numb…" Magma answered weakly "…can't… go on… must… talk like… William Shatner…" he finished, too tired to even make a smartass comment to Naomi. She just rolled her eyes and looked around.
"Heh-heh." the old fisherman laughed quietly "Quite a rare find ya got there missy!"
Naomi turned to the man in baggy clothes; his t-shirt was far too big as was his shorts that were tied to him with a make-shift rope belt. The straw hat he wore covered the top of his face. "What do you mean 'rare find'?"
"That there monster in yer boat." he began, rubbing his unshaven face "Yes it's been quite a while since I've seen a civilized 'pet' monster, n' even longer since I've seen one that looks like 'im." The old man chuckled as he said this. Naomi and Ace just stared at him dumbfounded, while Magma gave him the 'one finger salute'. "ah, but I must be borin' you youngins. If ya're lookin' fer someone 'r somethin' then there be a pub just down the street…" before the old man could finish his sentence Magma was standing in front of him eagerly.
"Pub!?! As in somewhere to get some booze?!" The red monster practically shouted.
"What about how numb you were?" Naomi pointed out in a sarcastic tone.
"SILENCE WOMAN! Can't you see the nice old man is giving me directions… wait, why are you still here?"
"What?!" she demanded, a little flustered "Ah… Well, it's kinda embarrassing…"
"Ahh, I get it now," Magma said, sounding pretty sure of himself "You like the jungle lovin', eh?"
"STUPID PERVERT!" she responded in a shout as she pistol-whipped the back of Magma's head. "Get your mind out of the gutter for once." she said with a huff, leaving Magma to rub the new bump on his head. Ace and Tic, however, didn't waste any time in asking directions from the old man.
"So it's right up the street?" Ace reiterated as he pointed down the main street.
"Yep, that's it. Big ol' sign and all. But you youngins be careful now, it can get rowdy in there…" The old man warned.
"Don't worry," Magma began as he got up "we're pirates. Rowdy is nothin' for us."
"A three man pirate crew?" the old man asked slyly as the three walked away.
"Get cancer and die…" Magma mumbled as he and the others walked out of the old fisherman's view. The old man sat there for a minuet or so, smiling quietly to himself. Finaly he turned to his left. "You sure do like to observe, don'tcha?" The figure turned it's head and looked him in the eye.
"… As much as you like to change fate." The silver-haired girl's voice had a venom to it.
"Someone has a guu-udge!" the old man said with a sing-song.
Magma was the first to enter the bar, all activity stopped as the group of three stepped in. For just a moment the silence lingered, but soon the bar went back to its normal, noisy self. Magma calmly sat down at a table and tapped the table three times, beckoning a waitress. Naomi and Ace felt that dumbfounded expression cross their faces as their rowdy "leader" calmly order something, and how the girl took the order so casually. Magma turned to look at the two, "Well? C'mon! You just gonna stand there all night or you gonna drink somethin'?" he demanded. Silently and with blank faces the two sat down, both having no idea what to say about what they just saw.
Time passed as the crew went through a few rounds of booze (Sam Adams I think), and soon Magma got rambunctious. "So pretty boy," he began, "Just how tough are you? I mean, those pansies overpowered you pretty quick. So, one's gotta wonder." The monster had an air about him that seemed to make it so that nothing could ruin his good mood.
"Stronger than you." …except that.
"Well I took out quite a bit of Kaine's crew before I was ejected by Khilrag." Ace explained with utmost confidence.
"Uh-oh." Tic sighed.
"Oh Tic!" Naomi exclaimed as she noticed the bug in front of her. "I wondered when you were gonna show up in this chapter."
"Besides," Ace continued smugly, "I don't think I have to prove anything to you…" This struck a cord with Magma, as long as he lived he hated, more than anything, being talked down to.
"No," The monster responded, with his head hung, letting his hair cover his eyes. "I THINK YOU DO!" The monster shouted as he cleared the table in one mighty swipe of his arm, knocking the glasses onto the floor with a crash.
"You looking for a fight?" Ace asked with a small smirk.
"WELL I AIN'T LOOKIN' TA DANCE!" The monster lunged at the boy with his claws extended and swiped with an intent to kill. Luckily, Ace was quick on his feet, scooting his chair back just quick enough to dodge the claws. Ace got out of the chair and pulled out the deck of cards, Magma crouched on the table with his mallet pulled out and ready to strike.
"Would you two knock it off!" Naomi shouted "I'm tired of these little pissing matches you two keep having!"
"Shaddup!" Magma shouted
"I'm busy now…" Ace informed Naomi, never letting his eyes leave the monster
"Naomi let it go…" Tic instructed on top of her shoulder "These two will never get along if they don't get this out of their systems."
"You're just saying that because you can't stop 'em." Naomi said with a sigh.
"Well, think you can stop them?" Tic responded in defense.
Meanwhile the fight between Ace and Magma raged on in the bar, mainly with Magma on the offensive. Ace had his moments of offensive maneuvers too, if he'd get back far enough he'd fling cards at Magma, which in response were blocked by the broad-side of his mallet. Magma on the other hand swung relentlessly and recklessly, pulverizing the occasional table or feeble pedestrian foolish enough to get in the way.
'Damn,' Ace thought to himself as he dodged another swing 'his movements are so random! And his feet and his arms… There's nothing practiced about them! There's far too much unnecessary movement. That said… he's good!'
"Dammit pretty boy! Hold…" Magma began as he brought back his mallet "…STILL!" He shouted as he brought down the mallet on someone's table where Ace was standing on not a moment ago.
'NOW!' Ace thought as he saw his opening and flung three cards at the monster. Magma quickly swatted the cards away with his hammer.
"Too slow…" he smirked as he lunged at Ace. Across the room, two men drinking wine watched as Naomi did her best to try and stop the fight between the two "crewmates".
" Mitch, aren't you going to stop them?" one man in uniform asked the other, who was sitting across from him.
"Hm, It's none of my concern, this pub didn't pay the "protection" money remember?" Mitch responded, taking a sip of wine "Besides, if anything gets out of hand…" what he was saying got cut short as the mallet pulverized his table and his glass. Magma looked up at Mitch. Mitch had a punk-like attire that could've passed as something from our time, even his hair was bleached and his ears were peirced.
"Damn. I missed."
"HEY ASSHOLE! THAT WAS MY DINNER!" he yelled at the monster "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO MY BROTHER IS!?"
Magma looked back up at the man, more than a little upset. Who was he to interrupt his fight, and who the hell was this brother that he keeps bitching about. "Nope." Magma answered bluntly as he stood up straight to look for Ace. "Dammit, where the hell is he?" Suddenly Magma felt the cold steel barrel of a handgun pressed up against the back of his head.
"You cocky lil' &! You're just a monster! A beast! An ANIMAL! Don't talk to me like a nobody!" Naomi and Magma locked eyes, her hand was on the handle of her gun, waiting for the signal. Magma just sighed and turned around to face Mitch. Naomi just looked on, confused.
'What the hell is he thinking' she thought to herself as she watched.
Magma looked Mitch in the eyes for a moment, then commenced to plug the gun with his index finger. "H-hey! What are you doing?! That's dangerous." Asked Mitch, confused as well, his smug face was wiped off and replaced with a look of worry. Magma just kept staring into Mitch's eyes with a soul-piercing stare. Ace chuckled silently to himself as he watched from a mob of panicked patrons as Naomi stared dumbfounded at the monster from the table while Tic panicked.
"I-IS HE TRYING TO GET HIS HAND BLOWN OFF!?" Tic demanded, as if Naomi had figured out how the monster thinks. "I… don't know." She replied. Either he was really clever or REALLY dumb, either way, it would prove entertaining.
"GAH!" Mitch screamed as he let go of the gun. Surprisingly, the gun was still plugged up by Magma's index finger. A smart-ass smirk crossed the monster's face as he flung the gun to Naomi, who caught it. Her silence marked that she was impressed. Magma looked at Mitch and grabbed his hand.
"I'm pretty drunk…" he started as he intertwined his fingers with the assailant's "AND REALLY ADGITATED!" he shouted as he crushed the young man's fingers with a squeeze of his hand. Mitch let out a scream of agony as he fell to the floor clutching his broken hand. "Ah damn, thanks to you I don't feel like fighting anymore." The monster yawned as he scratched the back of his head. He casually walked to his table and sat down, putting his feet on the table, as if nothing had happened.
"So, that's the "mighty" Magma Destin." Ace observed as he walked to the table and sat down as well. Naomi was the only one that remained standing, dumbfounded at what she just saw. A moment later she too sat down and looked at the table, the claw marks from his feet when he leapt at Ace.
"Our drinks…" Naomi said with a disappointed tone. The three remained silent, then sighed in unison.
"Are you three retarded or something!?" Mitch shouted "My brother is commander of this region's Navy, and has the best, bad ass warriors under his command! I've already sent someone to get them!" Naomi and Ace turned and just stared at the pathetic man shouting threats.
"Get Bent." Magma responded as he flipped him off.
"WHAT!?" Mitch screamed
"So, we got enough to stay the night?" Magma asked as he turned to Naomi.
"Barely, but we should be able to stay the night." she responded.
"DON'T IGNORE ME!"
The door to the pub opened as two very angry men stood, surveying the room. Ace opened his eyes and turned to Magma. "They're here." he informed the monster, Naomi kept counting the gold, unfazed.
"Go on. Looks like you need to vent anyway, I'll count the gold to double check… two, three, eight, nine…" she counted as Magma and Ace got up.
"THEM!" Mitch shouted, still clutching his hand "KILL THOSE THREE!" The men in uniform drew their swords silently as they wasted no time in charging at the two. Magma and Ace both smirked as the first slashed at Ace, but stopped as the top half of him fell over in a flash, leaving his legs standing for a moment before falling over too. The man that charged at Magma got kicked in the face then slammed into a wall by the business end of the monster's mallet. He coughed up the blood as a result of his ruptured organs.
"Dang, that sucked." Magma said as he put the mallet back into his belt of wonders.
"Naomi, how are we with the money?" Ace asked as he wiped off the last of the blood on his card. The door burst open with another man in uniform holding a grenade with the pin already pulled off.
"HAHAHA! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE NO-"
The man with the grenade fell back out of the Pub and blew up. Naomi had her gun pointed at the doorway, still smoking from the shot. "ninety-eight, ninety… huh." She turned to the monster. "Ninety-eight. We're short two gold… and we could always use more gold for the trip."
Mitch basically crapped himself at this point. "S-she never even took her eyes off the gold!" Magma turned to the sniveling man and picked him up by his shirt collar.
"Bitch was it?" Magma asked.
"M-Mit-" Magma just growled "EEP! Y-yeah… bitch is it…"
"Money, I think we need it more than you." Magma said with a grin. Mitch quickly pulled out his satchel and held it out for the monster. Magma took it and dropped him. "Don't feel bad." He said as he walked to the door, where Ace and Naomi were waiting "It's your fault for messing with pirates." he said as they walked out.
…A few days later…
A few people looked at a poster put on a large sign. In big letters it said "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE- 6,000 GOLD." On the poster three pictures were posted with notes under them. On the left was one of a very effeminate version of Ace that said "Pretty Boy" under it. The next sketch was one of a lazy version of Naomi that read "Lazy Gunner" and finally there was a disgruntled and down right evil looking sketch of Magma that read "?" underneath…