The Big Shiny Disclaimer/Explanation/Author’s Note

Uh yeah… about this monster…

First order of business—
What the hell is this? Well, this is a parody of a gigantic story that I am in the process of writing (i.e., it is a thousand fragments of prose sitting idle on my hard drive…) and do not expect to be finished with in the next decade. However, confusing as some of the references contained herein may be, you should at least become a little bit acquainted with some of the characters. Or at least the over-exaggerated misinterpretations I purposefully twisted them to be. I don’t expect anyone (except those who do… you know who you are…) to have the slightest idea of what’s going on, but that’s okay. We all have gnomes planted in our hole punchers eventually.

Second order of business—
Disclaimer-ness. Okay Let’s go:
I do not own, have any right to, or are in any way affiliated with:
Iron Chef
Harry Potter (not directly mentioned, mind you, but I felt a disclaimer was in order anyhow)
Lord of the Rings -- Mt. Doom, or its volcano (only the indirect character mockeries are mine)
The Bible
Cleveland (although I live there )
The Wizard of Oz (and subsequently Cornflakes)
Wendy’s
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

By simply mentioning these names here I claim absolutely no ownership, right to, or affiliation to any of them, so quit hounding me, will you?

Claimer-ness. Okay, now you listen:
Everything else mentioned here is mine. We should have gotten this straight already. Good.

Author’s Note. Thankies.
Thankies goes to everyone who helped with this and who listened for countless hours to my rambling. Once again, you know who you are. And thankies go to the readers who are brave enough to read this entire… thing… and still continue on with the parody. You are loved.

READ ON IF YOU DARE!!!

Love,
Blaze