I walked fast,

Knowing all I had to do

Was reach the door.

I didn’t expect you or them to follow…

But you did.

I sat at the table

Where my friend was.

We talked,

But I didn’t mention you.

You walked in with them

And I remember wondering

If you’d ever come alone.

Probably not.

There’s power in numbers.

We made eye-contact,

I left the table,

Telling my friend I’d be right back.

I went between two shelves,

Pretended to look at books.

You saw me,

I know you did.

That’s why you sat

So close to those shelves.

I tried to ignore you.

It was so hard.

I grabbed a book I liked,

Flipped through the pages,

But I still couldn’t do it.

I looked up

And you looked back.

That was your cue.

That’s when you started up again

With those insults

That made your friends laugh.

Was it worth it?

I hope it was.

Did see her hair?

Her clothes?

God, she looks terrible.

Just loud enough

For me to hear every word.

She’s so fat.

She shouldn’t make us look at her.

She thinks she has friends.

And oh, did they laugh.

Then you turned

Back to me.

We made eye-contact again.

Only this time

Mine were watering.

Did you realize

That what you said

Cut me so deep that I bled?

You must have.

You saw my reaction.

It put a smile of triumph

On your face.

Oh, how I wanted

To hurt you the way

You hurt me.

To take that smile off.

To rip it off forever.

It would’ve felt so good.

It would’ve been bliss.

I sat down again.

I hid my tears with my book.

My friend didn’t ask anything.

I’m so glad for that.

I know it shouldn’t have mattered,

I shouldn’t have cared.

But how could I not?

Now you deny it completely,

Imply that I made it up.

How could I have made up

All of that pain,

All of that hurt,

Just to make myself cry?

Now it’s over.

Now it’s gone.

So are the scars.

They’ve been gone

For a very,

Very long time.

I still remember, though.

It still hurts to think about.

You started killing me,

Everywhere you were.

Every time we met,

You killed me even more.

And it made you happy.

It made you smile.

One day you’ll see,

See just how much you killed me.

Then you’ll know

Exactly what it’s like to be

The one hiding her tears

Behind a book.

To be the one

Robbed completely

Of all of her friends.

To be the one lied about.

Then you’ll see.

Then you’ll know.

Then I’ll be the happy one.

I'll be the one smiling.