Auld Lang Syne, a Play fanfic

Auld Lang Syne

magustudios

AULD LANG SYNE

The play Auld Lang Syne, it should be noted, is not a play about love, etc. Although it could be assumed that JASON and CHARLOTTE have some sort of relationship, it is never stated in the play. Similarly, it is not about keeping memories simply for the sake of nostalgia. The trap of this play is to perform it like that. JASON believes that people can learn from their memories, and that is his driving force. CHARLOTTE is not a dunce, she is just trying to be practical.

Another trap of Auld Lang Syne is to portray KINO as a mentally handicapped child. KINO is not in any way mentally or physically handicapped. He is simply ignorant and non-caring. For him, life is nothing but a game.

Cast and Set Design

JASON, a man in his thirties
CHARLOTTE, a woman in her thirties
KINO, a man in his twenties

Props
JASON: Desk.

Please note that this play is subject to a royalty. For further information, contact Magustudios at or online

In all publications, the name of the author must be at least 50 the size of the largest letter in the title.

Auld Lang Syne

JASON looks off out the window. He turns back slowly.

JASON. Should auld acquaintance be forgot?

And never brought to light?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And days of auld lang syne

CHARLOTTE. Enters. I never understood that song.

JASON. Laughs. Few people ever do.

CHARLOTTE. Psh. Scottish. Who knows?

KINO. Enters. Whose Scottish?

JASON. Sitting at his desk. Your mom.

KINO. Damn straight.

JASON begins to write a letter.

CHARLOTTE. What’s that?

JASON. Letter to Old Man Sedgwick.

KINO. Friggin’ old man Sedgwick.

CHARLOTTE. Didn’t he die?

JASON. Twice. Or so we thought. Turns out, he never did.

KINO. What does the letter say?

JASON. Well, you know, Sedgwick is the oldest man in the state. He’s seen a lot that no one else has, and, you know, it’s sort of important that we record his thoughts. I thought I might do it for the paper.

KINO. Removed. Friggin’ paper.

CHARLOTTE. You still write for that?

KINO. Piece of crap.

JASON. It pays the bills.

KINO. Damn bills.

CHARLOTTE. Crosses, puts arm around JASON. Poor baby.

KINO. I hate babies.

CHARLOTTE. I wish I could get Uncle Wiley to give you a job at the office.

KINO. Offices give me hives.

JASON. I dunno. I’d almost rather work at the newspaper.

KINO. No news is good news.

JASON. Sighs.

KINO is silent.

KINO. I’m hungry.Exits.

JASON. Did I ever tell you about –

KINO. Excited, runs in. Ooh, a story! Jumps on JASON’s lap.

Beat.

JASON. I’m going to count to three.

KINO. Okay!

JASON. One…Beat. Two…

KINO. I hate this story. Exits.

CHARLOTTE. I’m sorry, Jason.

JASON. Charlotte, sometimes your cousin scares me.

CHARLOTTE. You were saying…?

JASON. Right – Did I ever tell you about…Pause. I forget. Oh, right! Before I moved to Burlington. When I worked for that ad firm in Connecticut.

CHARLOTTE. No…

JASON. Well,

KINO enters.

KINO. Guess who called the other day?

CHARLOTTE. Who called, Kino?

KINO. Miss Karissa Ray

Beat.

The southern chick.

CHARLOTTE. Right! Karissa…I remember her.

JASON. Who is that?

CHARLOTTE. Karissa is a girl Kino dated back in High School.

KINO. I was amazed. She remembered me, called me up.

CHARLOTTE. Corinne called yesterday.

KINO. I know! It’s so cool!

JASON. Huh. I didn’t know you knew so many people!

KINO. I didn’t either! It’s amazing actually. Usually I forget people and my friends and stuff – everything about them! After all, why would I want to remember them? It’s not like I’ll ever want to talk to them again or anything. Psh!

JASON. I suppose…

CHARLOTTE. People and your friends?

KINO. Well, my old friends…

CHARLOTTE. They weren’t people?

KINO. Not really

CHARLOTTE. Can’t you call them people?

Beat.

KINO. Not with a straight face, no.

CHARLOTTE. Aggravated. I don’t know what do with you.

KINO. Love me!Exits.

CHARLOTTE. I hate him!

JASON. Love him? Aren’t you cousins?

KINO. He’s from the south.

JASON. Ah, I see.

CHARLOTTE. So weird. I never thought about it before, but why would we remember our friends and people like that? I mean, once we say goodbye, why don’t we just erase them from our memories? What could we ever want with those thoughts again?

Simultaneous.

JASON. Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to light?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot?
And days of auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne
We’ll take a cup of kindness yet
For auld lang syne

CHARLOTTE. I’ll never remember them again
We should do a complete data wipe
Forget those days gone by
I just don’t see the point anymore
In remembering all those names
It may seem kind of mean I know
I’ll forget those days gone by.

Silence.

CHARLOTTE. That song. What is it about?

JASON. Answering indirectly. When I was in Hartford, working for that media company I made friends.

CHARLOTTE. That doesn’t surprise me.

JASON. I forgot them.

CHARLOTTE. Makes sense to me.

JASON. Why?

CHARLOTTE. Why would you remember them?

JASON. They were good friends. They were a part of my life.

CHARLOTTE. Past tense. Were a part.

JASON. But an important part! I forgot them! All of them! I forgot all my memories!

CHARLOTTE. You don’t need them! That’s living in the past

JASON. I like living in the past. It’s so predictable.

CHARLOTTE. Very funny, Jason.

JASON. Look at your cousin, Kino. He forgot those girls he dated. He’s forgotten about his life. He can’t learn from it. He can’t recount things. He can’t reminisce.

CHARLOTTE. What’s the point of reminiscing?

JASON. It reminds us that, no matter what happens, there are always good times and bad times. Life is a journey – ups and downs, if you will. We use our memories to take us from one peak through the valley below and up to the next peak.

CHARLOTTE. I never thought of it that way.

JASON. Well, now you have. Sings.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to light?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot?
And days of auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne

CHARLOTTE AND JASON.
We’ll take a cup of kindness yet
For auld lang syne.