Title: Not Enough

Rating: NC-17

Summary: He could say “I love you” A thousand times more, but they both knew it would never help… (Crossover Graphic slash M/M)

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Characters but I do own the story line and in all occurring events please remember that this is F I C T I O N and that none of it is real. All bands mentioned, TV programmes and possibly Countries or Cities are real and I do not own them, any quotes used are owned by their author but have been labelled accordingly.

Please note: No characters were hurt in the making of this story, how ever by all legal rights the author will not take responsibility for the actions of some members. The actors in this story are professionals and have been trained to perform these stunts. Please do not attempt to re-enact anything you have seen today.

Enjoy the Show.

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“It's not like you killed someone, It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side, Praise the one who left you, Broken down and paralyzed, He did it all for you, He did it all for you…”- A Perfect Circle “Judith”

Not Enough

“Will you just listen to me?!”

“How about you go fuck yourself and die you son of a bitch!”

“Look I know you’re angry-“

“Angry?!” The small blonde suddenly screeched, his brown eyes dark in fury. “Angry doesn’t even fucking cut it!”

He couldn’t help but cringe tugging on his hair a little as he let out a sigh. “Just let me explain!”

“What’s there to explain? You were both naked and he just happened to trip and land on your fucking dick? Save me the bullshit! Fuck you! Fuck Him! Fuck the rest of them too I don’t want to see you again!”

They both knew that was going to be a little difficult, what with them both touring together and of course having to share hotel rooms every now and then, but he knew he deserved it. Usually he got away with it, he got away with fucking around behind his lover’s back but usually he blamed the alcohol, he never had done it when he was sober, except this time…

He could remember exactly what had happened unlike the other times. They had finished their set, the others had fucked off to get a drink and start the party He had no clue where his lover was and all that adrenalin had made him horny as fuck. Of course Ian had been there too, they had just been joking around, nothing serious but the next thing he knew he grabbed the half naked singer and was kissing him hungrily, with the same mouth he used to kiss his lover with. For some reason that didn’t even click in his mind, not when he was fucking Ian on the dressing room couch anyway, it didn’t even click when he was so close it hurt, but it sure as hell clicked when his blonde beauty walked into the dressing room.

That sure as hell killed the moment.

Now he was running down the corridors backstage, pulling his clothes on and dodging equipment boxes and people as he tried to explain what had happened, even beg for forgiveness but so far it wasn’t going very well and the usually quiet and obedient Blonde was causing one hell of a scene.

Just when he was about to lose his boyfriend, or perhaps he was his ex, he wasn’t sure, he decided to call on desperate measures, grabbing the easily controlled blonde roughly and pulling him into one of the empty dressing rooms quickly. His lover didn’t like that, a sharp elbow to the gut gave that away and he couldn’t help but grunt at the pain managing to shut the door and pin the blonde back against the wall. He had learnt from the blonde’s other band mates just how to control the blonde and get him to behave, he also knew the blonde wasn’t that strong, not compared to him anyway so pinning him against the wall was easy. He was fast to clamp a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth before he could let out one of those high-pitched screams. In the dark it was hard to see anything, so he had to let the Blonde go with his other hand, using his body weight to pin the wriggling guitarist to the wall whilst he let his hand slide and crawl blindly across the wall in search of the light switch.

Finally he found it and with a small click light flooded into the windowless room making both men blink. Finally he was able to open his eyes with out it hurting though looking at the small blonde he had trapped he couldn’t help but smirk a little. Sure he was meant to be feeling guilty, he was meant to be begging for forgiveness but none of that really mattered, not when he had his boyfriend trapped, the small blonde struggling weakly, small muffled whimpers leaving him as he stared back.

“God I love you…” He finally purred smirking like he always did when he had power over the blonde, pressing his hips against the smaller man’s to emphasise how seeing the blonde so helpless was a real turn on. “Don’t you love me kitten? Don’t you love your daddy?”

The blonde squirmed, a small high pitched whine leaving him as he tried to pull his face away but failed miserably. He laughed softly and shook his head. He had often wondered why his love would always struggle under him when they both knew so clearly that he was stronger, that the blonde’s attempts were nothing but in vain. Chuckling still he leant in to kiss the blonde’s pale and delicious neck licking his lips at the thought of yet again marring that perfect skin with yet another bruise. But just as his lips came to brush over the soft skin a sharp and hard crack to his groin shot pain right through him making he cry out in pain.

“Fuck!” He gasped as he fell backwards clutching his groin, groaning in pain.

“Fucking deserved it.” The blonde grumbled in his husky yet boyish voice as he stepped over him heading for the door. “Asshole.”

He growled his cheeks flushed in pain and anger. Like hell was he about to let his boyfriend walk out, not after this little stunt anyway. Managing to uncurl himself enough, his hand darted out quickly, catching the skinny blonde by the jeans and yanking him down hard. He felt some satisfaction when the blonde screeched, hit the floor with a messy thud and nearly lost his jeans in the process. Grabbing the blonde in a firmer grip was no problem and he easily pulled the blonde to him, trapping the guitarist under him with ease.

“That wasn’t very nice Kitten.” He growled trying to tame the struggling man under him before he finally managed to straddle that tiny waist and pin those delicate wrists above the blonde’s head. “Now you’re gunna listen to me-“

“Like fuck I am!” The blonde spat still struggling feebly under him.

“Yes you are!” He growled ignoring the struggles and hisses from under him before his gaze softened a little. “Baby you know I didn’t mean for this to happen, you know what I’m like, I love you…”

“But that makes it okay to fuck around behind my back?” The blonde threw back, tears now making black orbs glimmer sadly before a child like sniffle left him. “If you loved me you wouldn’t do this! I know you’ve practically had them all! I know you fucked Bert on my birthday! I know damn well that when you’re on tour you go after Lee! Why huh? Does he remind you of me? Or is it because you are just a fucking cheap whore!”

His anger snapped then, bringing a hand hard across his lover’s cheek, the younger man’s head snapping back painfully. Within seconds blood rushed to the abused area, flushing it pink then red, he knew he had put enough force behind it to leave a bruise. The sickening silence that followed afterwards left him to wonder if he even regretted what he had just done, but still the mixture of anger and desperation swam around his head making it difficult to think clearly. Looking down at his lover, he took in the redden cheek and the now spilling tears that escaped shut eyes. He could feel the body under his give up and though this pleased part of him another part of him knew he ought to apologise really.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured quietly.

“No you’re not.” The blonde whispered shakily not even looking at him.

He couldn’t deny that but he couldn’t admit it either. Sighing he gently stroked the silky blonde tresses that shone in the artificial light. He could remember the first time he had ever set eyes on this small treasure, the first night he claimed him. It had been one of those silly pool parties that Bert always threw and it had been late. He had been stood at the kitchen counter that divided the kitchen from the dining room, holding a bottle of beer and chatting to a few friends when the blonde had walked in with boyish blonde hair and dark sparkling eyes. He had looked divine, sent shivers down his spine and awoken his cock. It hadn’t taken much charm to get the blonde to go upstairs with him, not that anyone missed them.

They had fucked on Bert’s bed.

He was indeed on the way to assuming it was only a one nightstand but he craved the blonde like a drug, he thought about him constantly until it became too much and he knew he had to have the blonde, own him, control him…

“Remember the first time we ever met?” He murmured smirking a little when the blonde sighed a little in disgust, turning his face away again. “Remember how I fucked you on Bert’s bed? I’ve never fucked anyone that way before baby, you think I care about the rest of them, do you think I put the same effort and love into them as I do for you? Hey? You’re the one I want… can’t you feel it?”

He was sure the blonde could feel it; it was, after all, hard to miss the rather large cock pressing into him. He smirked again when the blonde squirmed under him, trailing a finger down his love’s face and over his clothed chest lightly.

“I want you baby, only you.” He purred leaning down to kiss the corner of his love’s mouth.

He felt the blonde flinch, his hips struggling a little as he let his hands drop to the clasp on the guitarist’s jeans, toying with it, watching and feeling the blonde squirm like a cat would watch it’s prey squirm under its claws after catching it. He could see the blonde’s discomfort, he could tell that the blonde wanted to say no, he just couldn’t, because he knew that he wanted it too.

“Don’t.” The blonde whimpered a little against his lips, his breath shakily and hot.

“Shh…” He purred slowly undoing button and working the zipper down slowly. “It’s only me kitten…”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” The blonde gasped his cheeks flushing more as his jeans slid off his dainty hips with ease.

“Well you know I’ll stop if you tell me.” He murmured smiling a little, his hands running back up the blonde’s body slowly, callous fingers running over smooth and soft skin. “Just say it, tell me to stop and I will.”

He watched his love’s face, the blonde’s dark orbs filled with turmoil and tears as he opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. Instead his bottom lip quivered a little and then they both knew that the guitarist was unable to say no, to stop it, because he loved him too much for that. He didn’t smile; there was no point in rubbing it in anymore. Instead he closed the gap between their lips, letting his tongue slide into the blonde’s already parted lips and plunder his mouth, exploring every part as if it was their first time all over again. He felt the smaller man under him tense, even flinch before he relaxed, his body only moving as he sobbed silently.

“I love you.” He whispered into the blonde’s mouth, one hand cupping his jaw, the other opening his own jeans quickly.

“I know.” The blonde breathed, his cheeks stained with tears.

He nodded wriggling until his jeans and boxers were out of the way, knowing they had no protection but not wanting to hurt the man under him anymore than he already had. Sighing a little he sucked on two of his fingers before prodding them a little at the blonde’s entrance. He couldn’t help but look to his love’s face whenever he slid a finger past the tight ring of muscle to begin stretching him. Since their very first night he had done it, looking for signs that he was causing the blonde any physical pain, he hated the mere thought of it.

But it didn’t stop him hurting his love emotionally.

“Are you okay?” He murmured asking himself silently where his anger had gone and why now he was choosing to take true care in his work.

The blonde nodded softly, his breath hitching a little as he shivered. “I’m o–okay.”

He nodded licking his dried lips and slowly pushing the second finger in, jumping a little when the blonde moaned from under him, the soft and delicate sound resounding in his ears. Carefully he moved his fingers, twisting them and scissoring them slowly, moving the digits slowly in search of the blonde’s prostate, wanting to know where it was now for future reference. He found it quickly, another delicious moan leaving the blonde that sent ice-cold shots down his spine and into his already hard groin. Licking his lips again he leant down to brush his lips lightly over his blonde’s skin, thrusting his fingers in slowly and gently, pressing against that weak spot until he felt his lover’s body writhing beneath him, soft begs leaving his angelic mouth, begging him to fuck him.

Slowly he pulled his fingers away hating to hear that small hiss of disappointment that always left the blonde but he knew he could make it better which was what he intended to do. Shifting his weight, he let his body settle down between the thin and spread thighs of his love, the pale legs cradling his hips so that he could connect with him with ease and yet gave him leverage to thrust.

“I love you.” He whispered softly when his lips once again meant the blonde’s own soft pink ones, experiencing that unique taste of cigarettes and strawberry sweets all over again as he rocked his hips softly, grinding against his love’s hips. “Want you so bad…”

“Love you more…” The blonde breathed, gasping softly, as he let his head fall back, his hips grinding right back until they bucked.

“That’s it baby, let me in, just relax and let me in.” He breathed panting already as he dropped a hand to his cock, guiding it to his lover’s entrance, catching the second buck with the cradle of his hips and sliding into with one swift motion.

The body under his moaned loudly, his back arching a little as they continued to rock in harmony. He smiled at the bliss that filled him, every fibre calling on him to move with more definition and rhythm, his hips complying as he settled his weight onto his hands on either side of his love’s head and thrust in slowly yet hard, seeking pleasure from the cool tightness that held him. Those pale thin legs came to wrap around his waist within seconds, soft moans and gasps driving him to push deeper into the body under his, his fingers curling into the thin carpet under him as he watched the face of his blonde.

“Beautiful…” He breathed as he dipped his head down to capture his love’s lips in a soft kiss, feeling his whole body shudder from the effort and pleasure.

He felt the body under him contracting and relaxing, the small frame shuddering from the impact of each thrust, the blonde’s back arching up so his tiny chest was pressed right against his tanned one, their heat only making them both moan more and more at the intensity.

“Feel so good kitten, so tight baby… always so tight.” He panted into his love’s ear as he kept thrusting, each movement becoming harder and shallower as he felt himself closing in on his climax.

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to last much longer, not with the cool tightness constantly squeezing around him every time he hit the blonde’s prostate, so he dropped a hand down the small body under his and grabbed his love’s own erection, stroking it to push his own lover over the edge first. It worked in such a wondrous way and he couldn’t keep his eyes off the boyish face under his as it screwed up in pleasure, a small cry of passion leaving that almost innocent mouth as hot seed split over his hand and their stomachs.

“Oh Jamie!” The small blonde cried, the sound of his voice resonating through out the windowless room haunting his ears until he could bare no more.

Grunting he thrust his hips forward in a hard fashion as his gut tightened and the ball of pleasure exploded within him, washing through him like warm clean water or soothing heavenly light as he poured his seed deep within his tiny blonde. He cried out in pure pleasure, his vision blurring with a whirl of white dots as he thrust in a few more times before finally collapsing, spent and sated.

Silence once again filled the room, the faint scent of sex clinging to the air as a reminder of what had just taken place. For a while he and his blonde lay in a heap of limbs and matted hair as they tried to catch their breath. He felt his smile creep onto his lips, feeling that warm and addictive glow that he could only ever get from his Blonde. After a few minutes he lifted his head to see those brown eyes once again, his smile fading within a second when he saw the tears once again trailing down soft cheeks.

The bruise was now coming up, purple and dark and he knew right then he wouldn’t be able to look at himself in the mirror in the morning, but still those tears broke his heart and he frowned in concern, bringing a hand up to lightly touch the blonde’s pale cheeks.

“Why are you crying?” He whispered softly, scared to lift his voice and hear the shaking in it.

“Because I love you and I know that it won’t change anything.” The blonde whispered, his bottom lip trembling a little. “You won’t change will you?”

He wanted to say no, but he knew he couldn’t, he just couldn’t say a lie. His blonde was right, despite the strength of their love, he would still continue his games and he would still break his love’s heart time and time again.

“I love you with all my heart, Quinn, I swear.” He whispered feeling his own eyes sting with tears, wrapping his arms around the thin body under his and holding it almost possessively. “I love you so much…”

“And I love you.” His blonde replied almost silently. “I will always love you.”

But it just wasn’t enough.

Fin.