Senseless

ARC

-

the mirror is my enemy

every morning

I am naked

vulnerable

I stare at this hideous body

I hate it so;

but it’s only the flesh that traps me

in self-loathing

and maybe it’s just that I’m a girl

whose body changes still

trying dresses in a shop

the blue one

in a cubicle

I burst into tears

feeling so ugly...

whatever happened to an older me?

never stopped to look

never cared

nine years old and climbing trees

a dogwood in the yard

with white petals pink faded in the center

like some Japanese doll

the eyes that mock beneath dark hair

robes in which to hide everything

a shelf beside the swirling snow globe

of a castle with a pony and prince charming

all the fantasies of small girls who grow and change

and lose themselves in mindless self-hatred

sixteen years old and nothing to live for

so stop eating

get thin or die, and you win either way;

it’s only the flesh that traps you