Sighs The college is treating the Z-Dub alright, despite taking up all his time with randomly playing MTG and GTA San Andreas, going on dates- er, studying.

Anyway, I missed my commentary on recent events, so here you go: commentary from the funniest liberal on Fictionpress, fuckers.

God does not have a sense of humor.

“But what about the evil pope?”

No. That’s just the proof that God is a sadistic little prick who likes out misery. Don’t get me wrong- God rocks, but where did the funny go? I mean, early on, God did all sorts of cool things that are funny.

The platypus. God clearly was enjoying his creation cannabis satvia when he created that.

“I know! Let’s create a mammal that lays eggs! And let’s make it totally fucking useless while I’m at it!!”

Then there was the time where he killed everybody because there was too much violence in the world. And then after that happened, he created rainbows so he doesn’t do it again.

And let’s not forget how much God hates the cock. He makes you cut off the tip of it. I mean, that’s some serious hate.

Oh, and that time when he mooned Moses? Very awesome, God. Bravo!

And when he had the guys who drink water like dogs fight in Gideon’s army? Hysterical!

And his inspiring David to kill anybody that pisses on a wall?

Or maybe when he asks where in the hell (ok, lame joke aside) Satan went?

Or when he kicked people in their ass?

Or when he swears by himself?

And then there’s the Jesus Sword.

But nowadays, there is no humor in God anymore. Look at Terry Schiavquaoazxxlaolquawhateverthefuckhergoddamnnameis. People were talking about her coming back on Easter, or something. If God had a sense of humor, this would have happened:

Terry Schia…is would have come back to life as a fully functional male. Then, she would go and sodimize her husband on the steps of the Supreme Court.

Or the new pope. IF you’ve read Angels and Demons, you would totally see the humor in that happening.

And his naming thing? Why, oh why, didn’t he name himself Pope Awesome the First? Or Pope Vader? Or Pope Epop? Or Pope Fear? Or something really cool? The companies would have had a field day with bidding to have the pope named something. Pope Coke, or Pope Sprite, or better yet, Pope Google. Pope Rolex. Some sort of product name.

More socioecopolitical (un)funniness to come soon.

And Fictionpress- get some non-lame ranking systems. Kid Plus? Please.