Do you know what I like about mornings?

They never stop coming. No matter what horrors surfaced the previous day, the sun always rises. It may just be me getting on a bit, but I like routine, especially now that my life is pretty unpredictable.

But that was one gorgeous morning. Being the insomniac that I am, I was sitting on a plush cushion that had somehow found its way onto my favourite window seat. The sun came up in a blaze of glory, acting as nature’s alarm clock. Birds cheered like pagan sun worshippers of old.

With a smile, I glanced over at Celeste’s crib. She sighed softly in her sleep, clutching her stuffed Jack Skellington like a life jacket. Angel was curled up under the covers, looking as peaceful and beautiful as ever. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was: just a month ago I was on the verge of losing everything. With the love and support of everyone around me, I had crawled back from the brink unscathed.

The mansion slowly came alive with noise. Fay skipped past, singing The Used’s “All that I’ve got”. Dave, his partner and my other best friend hurried after him, reminding his pixie-like lover that people were still asleep. Five minutes later, Michael stumbled past, his thoughts undoubtedly on breakfast. Jeff was already downstairs making pancakes.

I listened as Fay’s giggle drifted up from the kitchen. That kitchen was full of my closest friends, the people who had been waiting with arms outstretched to catch me when I fell. Anavrin had saved me more than once - Fay, Dave and Jeff are the ultimate support system.

For those of you just joining us, let me cue my own funky flashback, unnecessary though it may be.

My name is Matt Jay Harris. I’m a 20-something (that’s all you’re getting) with a wonderful artist for a girlfriend called Angel Andrews. We have a baby daughter called Celeste. I’m the guitarist in Anavrin, an “emo super group”. I’ve lived with my band mates Jeff (drummer), Dave (bassist) and Fay (singer/compulsory crazy member) in a LA mansion for a couple of years now I guess. We even have our own fly-on-the-wall MTV show called “Back To Unreality”. I swear the title had nothing to do with me. Oh, and Fay’s half brother (and teenage tearaway…except not really) Michael lives with us.

I’m glad that’s over - who needs to know the past when you can live in the glorious present? Anyway, back to what I was saying. Saturday morning.

I pulled on a pair of fading jeans and a Bright Eyes t-shirt. A hand ran through my longish black hair counted as daily grooming and I was ready to go downstairs. In the hallway, I collided with a girl I knew only by sight - probably another of Jeff’s “friends”.

Fay was sitting on one of the kitchen counters, making out with a fully-dressed Dave. Michael was sprawled out on the sofa, his feet dangling over the edge and his eyes closed. Smiling devilishly to myself, I leaned over him.

“Mmm, breakfast.”

His eyes shot open, and he sat up expectantly.

“Where?!” I laughed at his reaction and indicated that Jeff was building leaning towers of pancakes on some plates. Michael got to his feet and headed in the general direction of the pancakes, passing Dave and Fay, who were still content to feed on each other.

“I swear, you guys never stop!” Michael exclaimed, sounding exactly like a teenage boy who was witnessing his big brother make out with his partner should sound.

“Hush puppy,” Fay smiled sleepily over Dave’s shoulder as Dave kissed his neck with fuzzy affection.

“Breakfast’s ready,” Jeff said, smiling like a chef who knew he was good, which Jeff is. I grabbed a pancake from Michael’s plate (it was an extremely tricky and delicate operation - if I told you the details, I’d have to kill you) as I walked to the cupboard and retrieved a jar of Celeste’s apple flavoured baby mush.

Angel appeared, smiling with the warmth of a well-rested woman. Celeste was awake in her arms, my beautiful beaming baby. I was unable to open the jar, but Angel opened it with ease and sat Celeste down to feed her.

“Do you know what we need? We need a honeymoon now that we’re married, huh Dave? Can we go to London Davester?” Fay grinned in between mouthfuls of pancake that Dave was feeding him. Dave was personally responsible for feeding the Fay.

“We’re busy sweetheart,” Dave replied, stroking Fay’s hair to try and stem any possible flow of disappointment.

“Pah,” Fay shrugged. “Matt, if you and Angel get married we can have a big honeymoon together.” He pulled Dave into his arms, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him softly, deciding his input to the conversation was now finished.

“Angel and I are not getting married,” I told the room at large, blushing slightly.

“Why not?” Jeff asked, looking up from his half-demolished tower of pancakes. “You love each other, live together, have a baby together…”

“What Jeff’s saying is you’ve already done all the good stuff, you might as well get married,” Dave said as he lifted Fay from the counter, balancing his lover’s practically non-existent weight on his hip while Fay’s feet dangled carelessly.

“Or you know, not,” Angel piped up, drawing some of the spotlight from me.

“We should just take a holiday anyway, I need a break,” Michael suggested, realising that his plate was empty.

“Well I’ll call Bobby today and check out the schedule for the next couple of months,” Dave said reasonably after kissing Fay’s midnight black hair. He carried Fay upstairs, probably to dress him.

Jeff wandered back upstairs to find his “friend” and Michael called his gal-pal Kai to ask her to come over and hang out for the day. Angel was going to drop Celeste off at her Aunt Jen’s before going to her warehouse studio for some peace to paint.

An hour later and Jeff, Dave, Fay and I were down in the basement recording studio, jamming. Fay was bouncing off the walls, full of his usual energy. Dave and I were sitting in a corner, tinkering away with a couple of melodies while Joe tapped along on a snare drum. The label wanted us to start work on a new album and we were more than happy to oblige.

Michael came downstairs with Kai, a pretty blond girl who befriended him when her dad Bobby became Anavrin’s manager. I liked Kai - she was responsible, funny and knew how to have a good time. I knew our lifestyle made things difficult for Michael, but I was glad he’d found a genuine friend in Kai.

“Hey guys,” Kai smiled brightly. We all nodded and said hello.

“You going out for a while?” Fay asked Michael as he sat on Dave’s knee.

“Nope,” Michael shook his head. “Bobby says there’s a journalists’ convention in town so I’m probably going to stay in,” Michael smiled.

“Seems wise,” Dave agreed.

“Plus Angel told me her school buddy Tina’s arriving today so we’re having dinner later.”

“Oh, right,” I remembered (almost) straightaway that Tina was flying out to LA on business and we had asked her to stop by the mansion.

“The fridge is fully stocked,” Fay beamed, as if proud that we had food in our fridge. “If you want something whipped up, come down here and ask Jeff to do it,” He giggled, picking up the remote for the TV/DVD player to turn on “Peter Pan” - the Jeremy Sumpter version because it was “obviously the best one.”

“Fay we’re supposed to be working,” Dave reminded him with a smile when Fay began re-enacting his favourite parts of the movie.

“We’re taking a study break!” Fay laughed, settling himself in Dave’s lap to watch the movie.

The quiet allowed me to retreat into my own mind. I kept thinking about the conversation we’d had that morning, about Angel and I getting married. Maybe Jeff had a point - Angel and I had a baby and had lived together on and off since we had left high school, marriage was the next logical step. Part of me wanted to marry Angel, to give her some sense of stability after everything I’d put her through.

But I would always be against marriage, I’d never once experienced a good marriage that had lasted very long. Could I withstand the heartache of actually divorcing Angel, if it came to that? And that’s a very probable “if” - the way I screw up things you can be guaranteed I’d ruin a marriage.

During my deep deep thoughts, I looked over at Fay and Dave. Fay was concentrating hard on the movie, holding Dave’s hands in his and smiling with contentment. The gold band on Fay’s pale finger glittered, a tangible token of the love he had for Dave and vice-versa. I felt a prickling of rage - Fay and Dave loved each other to death, would do anything for each other, but their commitment was insignificant in the eyes of the law. The misconception that homosexual couples had sex while heterosexual couples fell in love was so unfair, especially when applied to a couple like Fay and Dave. And there I was, able to marry Angel but unwilling to do so.

“I might go out for a drive,” I said before I realised I had actually thought it. I got to my feet, and ran a shaking hand through my hair. “I won’t be long.”

Five minutes later and I was cruising through the sun-drenched Californian streets in my baby-blue Cadillac. The breeze in my hair was welcome, clearing my thoughts as I came to a conclusion.

The up-market jewellery store was empty when I strolled in, almost trembling under the weight of my decision. The young sales assistant squealed with delight, and I managed a weak smile. I asked to see the manager, who appeared as if by magic.

They both showed me tray after tray of rings, pointing out their personal favourites (which oddly enough were the most expensive). Eventually I chose a small platinum ring set with three diamonds. It was beautiful in a classy, simple kind of way.

Then I drove home, slowly. I took a detour past Venice Beach to watch the sun go down. It was so relaxing to sit on the sand with just the sound of the sea and the sight of the sun. Plus, it earns you major poetic-points.

The mansion was bustling when I got back. Tina had arrived with a shock announcement in the form of her life-partner Becky.

“You could have called anytime and called me!” Angel grinned as Tina and Becky sat down.

“You know me, I thrive on melodrama,” Tina smiled. “Plus, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“It’s official, we don’t know any straight people!” Michael quipped. On cue, Angel and Jeff coughed. “Apart from Angel and Jeff.”

“Matt didn’t cough,” Kai pointed out, grinning wickedly.

“Are you bi Mattie-Jay?” Fay asked curiously.

“I wouldn’t say that,” I shrugged. “I just wouldn’t rule it out I guess,” I felt myself blushing (for the second time that day) and knew I was being totally ridiculous, these people were my family, there was nothing to be blushing about.

Talk soon turned to Tina’s business trip. Tina worked for Geffen as a sort of talent scout and had flown to LA to convince one of the hometown bands to sign a deal with her label. Apparently, there was some sort of bidding war going on. I was assured it was all very exciting.

At nine, Kai left with smiles and fond farewells. Shortly after Kai’s departure, Tina’s cell phone rang. She flipped it open and said hello in the most professional way. She hung up after a few minutes, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Well that’s it, you guys have new label mates,” She told us, obviously pleased to have closed the deal.

“That didn’t take long, what did you offer ‘em?” Jeff asked.

“A standard three album deal, pretty much. The singer wanted full creative control so we gave in,” She explained.

“Clever man,” I noted.

“Clever kid actually. He’s still in his teens,” Tina corrected.

“God, really?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, just 19 I think.”

“Wow,” Fay’s eyes were wide. “Are they any good?”

“You just wait and see,” Tina smiled.

“This calls for celebration,” Angel said as she stood up. I became suddenly aware of the engagement ring in my pocket and got up too.

I followed Angel into the kitchen, swallowing my fear as she uncorked a bottle of champagne. Slowly, I pulled the little velvet box from my pocket. When Angel turned to face me, I gave it to her.

“What’s this?” She asked, her face lighting up with childish delight.

“It’s for you.”

She eased it open and shock flooded her eyes. I saw her lips form a terrifying frown of recognition.

“Matt,” She licked her lips nervously. I braced myself for the inevitable reaction. “This looks like an engagement ring.”

“It is an engagement ring. Angel, will you marry me?”

Time stopped as I waited for her answer. Part of me actually hoped, wanted and prayed that she’d say no. But on the other hand, I also wanted to make Angel happy and if that mean shunning my beliefs and facing my fears, then so be it.

She opened her mouth to speak and time started up again. Shaking like a leaf, I waited for her answer.