|The Evil Fanfic
Author: Tessabe PM
It defies words, just read. I warn you though, it's warped stuff.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 14,520 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 05-06-05 - Published: 05-04-05 - id: 1904096
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
OK, this chapter is by sort of by request, It's not exactly what they asked for but well, I think it's funny. A dedication to stupidity, and a warped application of some of Mercedes ideas. (Oh, and don't forget the bad puns) Talking of puns my sister asked me recently if Keros last name wasn't syrup, she's the one who came up with Mary Sue Keebler. She must have food on the brain.
Chapter 12 Will the Real Mary Sue Please Stand Up (Eminem can have it, but I'm not sure he'd want it after I'm done) Posted as Chapter 15
Sierra walked the halls of the palace. She had left her men behind. They had discovered the Salle, Legolas and Neo anyway, and Harry? Well Harry was working on his crack spell.
(Besides, for the so called plot of this next chapter, she needs to be all by her lonesome)
She looked up as she felt the first stirring of magic, somebody was working on a spell. Walking quickly she found the door and entered the room.
"Hey wait!" a voice called out (But as we know Mary Sues really do know best) and she simply walked right in and into the middle of something, a rapidly expanding pile of paper, she slipped and fell and as she rolled away another, then another, and another body rolled out of thin air after her.
Soon the room was filled with others and she was crowded out along with the old man, who had tried to warn her off. "What?" she asked, confused. Then she froze, each new face was too familiar and she found herself looking into the eyes of many Sierras, each with the same rather witless expression on their faces.
Sejanes began to look rather green as the effect of a Mary Sue many times multiplied began to take effect in the room and hallway.
She looked at the man and asked "What happened?"
"You walked right into the middle of a replicating spell" he said, trying vainly to breath through his mouth.
"What's that?" many voices asked. And it was too much for Sejanes, he was an old man after all and he ran for the open air, many Marys hot on his heels.
Greggory had felt something strange and had come closer to the palace. Then without warning an old man came out a door, running as fast as he could with a crowd fast on his heels.
(Can you see what's coming, I have been telling you how evil I am. But no, you don't believe me)
The crowd stopped in tandem at the sight of Greggory. "Greggory!" they cried with one voice and swarmed the poor Companion.
If a Companion could gulp, he would have. He was surrounded with no way out.
:Help, Help me: the pitiable cry went out and the other Companions came running to him. They stopped dead at the sight of the many Sierras all hugging Greggory to death, uh unfortunately it wasn't quite to death. Just wishing for death.
As they watched more Sierras came boiling out of the door and they backed away quickly. This went on for some time before the flood trickled and came to an end. When it was done, there must have been around a hundred Sierras crowding around a wild eyed Greggory.
( I did promise Greggory torture, didn't I?)
"What's going on here?" Kero came running out of the Salle, her students boiling out after her. Her eyes widened in shock at the sight of so many Mary Sues. They're taking over, I always knew it would happen she thought with nausea.(A common Mary Sue reaction)
(The horror, the Horror...)
:Snap out of it: Sayvil said sharply.
Sejanes stepped forward, he was losing his green face, the effect of so many Marys was diluted outside, it was only in enclosed places and enforced proximity that brought out the full effect.
"She stepped into a replication spell" he said shakily.
"A what?" Kero asked.
"A replication spell, it's the spell we use in the Empire to make copies of important papers" he said. Who would have guessed how dangerous such a simple spell could be? he thought.
"Is there a cure or counter to it" Kero asked urgently, one was bad enough, but a hundred?
"Yes, but I'd have to find it and we need to find the original girl" he said, still a little sick. He shuddered every time he looked at the group around Greggory.
Sierra was beginning to feel a little ill herself, she knew who she was and got the feeling these others thought they knew who they were too. They all shared the same memories from the time she had rolled out of the spell. But she knew, she was the original, each one had slightly different memories after they had been made. The newest having the most...
(You know, I'm nauseating myself with the thought that I've spent too much time thinking about this, I mean really Evil, Evil fic, not a serious story) (Disclaimer time again, if you haven't realized by now, this is meant to be stupid)
Oh no, ahhhh, I just looked to the side, 30 pages? This was really supposed to be a one-shot.
So much for that plan, ok.
They spent much of the day sorting the Sierras (Sounds catchy), Sejanes looked through his books for the antidote spell.
He worked hard, wading through all of his papers, he dearly hoped that the spell wasn't one of those that had been left in the Empire when they had first come to Hardorn. It was a common spell after all and who would have guessed the urgency of an antidote.
The faint murmur of the Mary Sue crowd made cold chills run down his spine and he searched all the harder for the curse, uh make that cure. Ah, I've found it, he thought with relief. Grabbing the book he almost ran to the group of mages near the Sierras. "I've found it!" he gasped out as he arrived.
"Great, what do we need for the spell?" one of the mages asked.
"First we need to find the girl, the real Sierra, then we may proceed from there. If we pick the wrong one, she dies and the Companion with her" he said.
At this point I'm thinking Greggory didn't care as long as he was free.
(Now the thought occurs to me. All they have to do is ask Greggory which one is the real Sierra. After all he is only bonded to her, the others are just copies. But no, that makes too much sense for a Evil fic so they will work out a long and involved plan for figuring out the truth or...)
Harry walked out of the palace entrance and stopped dead at the sight of so many Sierras, his eyes widened and he looked confused for a moment before walking up to one of the Sierras "Love, what's going on? These girls look just like you" he asked.
She hugged him and the mages who had been trying to figure out how the hell they would be able to find the correct Sierra sat back and breathed a sigh of relief. Now all they had left was the spell.
(Now I'm wondering here whether I should just end things here leaving the multitude of Marys... No, I don't believe I will. I don't wish for a cyber lynch mob out for my blood. It's just a story, a dumb story, but oh well...) (Maybe a poem about Sorting the Sierras and the Multitude of Marys, it does sound catchy, but no. It's time to end this chapter, bah...)
Sejanes, set up the spell and it went quickly, with a puff of smoke all but Sierra disappeared and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. But knowing me and my warped mind you have to know it won't be for long.