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22 / epilogue
I liked today because it was sunny. I liked the heat, the brightness, the happiness. It was comforting. I liked the sounds of heavy traffic, bustling chatter, and, hell, even sirens. This was the city, and it was full of people.
I reached my destination after a long walk through the city. Almost forty-five minutes. The library, large, red, green, yellow. Many colors, colors for the kids. I entered the building, checked in with the front desk to ask where the group of kids had gone.
Upstairs. I went upstairs and I saw him and the little kids. The kids, all in grade one, seven of them. He looked at me and smiled, waving me over.
“Hi,” I said, watching as his eyes brightened.
“You came,” he smiled.
“I came,” I confirmed. I walked over to him and hugged him, tightly. “I missed you.”
“I missed you,” he returned, hugging me back as he stood. He pushed me back a little, but still held me, and kissed me. I returned the kiss, loving the liquid fire that coursed through my veins at the feel of his lips against mine.
“The library?” I asked once we parted. “It’s so secluded.”
“I’m sick of seclusion,” he shrugged. “I’m not secluded. Look,” he gestured towards the seven children, all watching me with their curious eyes.
I trailed two fingers down his cheek and bit my lip to keep myself from smiling. “Who would have thought?”
He grabbed my hand in his and held it by his shoulder. He stepped closer, resting his forehead against mine delicately. “They did tests on me. I have no chemical imbalance in my sanity. My behavior has been nothing but normal. I’ll be released officially in less than a week.”
I couldn’t contain my smile; I had been released yesterday. “And then?”
“And then we elope.”
“On an island?”
“Maybe.”
I pursed my lips. “I thought you said you’re sick of seclusion.”
“Yes,” he nodded against me, “but. . . I hate society, and with you and only you. . . that’s not seclusion. That’s paradise.”
I grinned.
At last, I turned and ran to where I knew Jeb would be. He had been real. I knew it. He had to have been real, because if he hadn’t of been, then I would be gone forever. Then Lost would have won—and no. No, he’d never win. Ever, because, because. . .
I stopped thinking and just ran. Lost didn’t follow me; he probably went to double check to see if Jeb’s body was really missing. Of course it was, it had to have been, of course. . .
I finally reached the clearing, dirty and scraped from falling countless times on the run here. “Jeb!” I screamed, my voice hoarse and dry. “Jebidiah! Please!” I stumbled to a stop on the bridge, falling into the railing and placing my hand against the coldness of it. “Jeb!”
“Tabby.”
It was quiet, almost a hiss. I started. He was here, somewhere. I heard something, from underneath the bridge. I wanted to jump off the edge to get down quicker, but I forced myself to go around, go all the way around, down the slope. I slid, my back getting caked with mud, but I didn’t care, because now I could see his outline. He was facing me, grinning lopsidedly—that silly little grin.
I squealed and ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him as hard as I possibly could. He returned my hug, his warm arms holding me, his lips quickly brushing against my forehead, over and over.
“You’re alive!” I cried happily. “You’re so, so alive.”
“You saw me,” Jeb whispered against my hair. “And I was so glad you didn’t scream out to me, because then Lost would have seen me, also.”
“I thought you weren’t real,” I whimpered.
“That’s why you looked away?” He hugged me tighter, if he was capable. “I thought you were making sure Lost couldn’t see me.”
“You were washing your hands,” I murmured against his chest.
“Washing the blood from my mouth.” He tried to push me back a little, probably so he could look at my face, but I clung onto him. I didn’t ever want to let him go in case this was all fake, and he wasn’t here, and I was actually hugging the air.
And I was crying all of the sudden.
“Don’t let me go,” I whimpered. “Please, please don’t let me go.”
“I won’t, ma chérie.” He paused. “Jamais.”
I opened my eyes, slowly, uncertainly, and stared at his chest, my breathing irrational. It scared me, but yet, I managed to ask, “How did you. . .?”
“Survive the fall? I can thank Hunter for that. I don’t know what he used—something soft, I was too dazed from Lost’s savage fist, and my consciousness wasn’t clear.”
My voice was thick as I spoke, but I didn’t know why. “You were almost unconscious?”
“Why do you think he managed to flip me over the balcony in the first place? Besides the dart to my throat.”
I shivered against him; he rubbed my arms a little, thinking I was cold. I was. . . in a way.
“I want to curl up down here forever, underneath this bridge, away from everyone. I want to curl up and never open my eyes again,” I whispered.
“Shh, we’re both alive, don’t say that.” He kissed my forehead again. “We can go home, Tabby.”
I didn’t speak for awhile. When I did, I choked. “But they’re all dead.”
“We’re not.”
I pulled away a little. I tried to think like him: positive. But, it wasn’t so easy. I could hardly think at all, in fact. “Okay,” I forced out. “You’re. . . you’re right. So let’s go. Let’s go. . . make that call for help.”
Jeb hesitated. “Tabby. . . are you sure Lost will just hand it over?”
“I won. I’m the winner, damn it,” I said, feeling anger rise up in me. “He’d better.”
“He’s a killer. He doesn’t play by rules.”
“He has so far.”
“But this is the end, Tabby.”
“He’s not like that!” I said, snappishly, then stopped myself. Why was I defending him? I had no reason to. I carefully corrected myself, “But. . . maybe he is.”
Jeb nodded. We finally let go of each other, but as soon as his grip left me, I fell to the ground, my vision turning black, and I thought, and hoped, I’d never wake up.
I sat down, giving the seven children a smile.
One of the kids spoke—a particular girl with blond hair and dark brown eyes. She had little freckles sprinkled across his nose. “Kaspar told me you were stuck on an island.”
I nodded solemnly.
The girl looked at her friends. They grimaced, and she looked back at me. “And there was a fire.”
“There was.”
“The fire burned everyone.”
I nodded again.
“Everyone except three of you.”
He looked at me and quickly winked. “This is the interesting part.”
I lifted an eyebrow at him, then looked back at the girl, intrigued. “What’s this idiot talking about?” I asked, referring to him as the idiot. “What’s the interesting part?”
The girl grinned at him, then at me. She was missing a tooth, I noted. “My daddy doesn’t think the fire was an accident.”
I furrowed my eyebrows at her. “Really?”
“Really. My daddy’s a policeman. He protects us. He knows what he’s talking about.”
I shrugged. “Maybe he does.”
“He says there’s no proof, though. The fire killed the evidence anyways.” The girl finished with a satisfied nod.
I looked at him, and he looked back and shrugged.
“That’s why they’re testing our sanity,” he told me. “He thinks one of us killed them all.”
I was silent. He sensed my unease and touched my hand under the table.
“Look how strong you are,” he said, soothingly. I looked back at him. “Look how much you can tolerate.”
I bit my lip.
“You’re so perfect.”
My cell phone began to chirrup a fancy tune. I started, then pulled it out of my purse and flipped it open. “Hello?”
“Tabby?”
“Jeb!” I exclaimed. “How are you, Jeb?”
Jeb laughed, and I missed his voice in person. “Superbe. My new boyfriend—his name is Michelangelo, call him Michael—is so perfect. Well, almost.”
“New boyfriend? Hold on. . .”
Jeb laughed again. “Yeah, he wouldn’t stop bothering me about what had happened at Cobra Mansion. How I had escaped the fire. O, how vibrant am I!”
My smile died.
“Yeah. . . so I finally decided to give him a chance. He’s not so annoying anymore.” His voice was cool now, as he spoke some more. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. It’s. . . so normal now.”
He paused. “Is it?”
I swallowed. “It is, really. It is.”
He didn’t reply at once. “Yes,” he said, eventually. “I guess you. . . don’t always get a choice of who you love.”
I wavered. “He made a mistake.”
“Or one million and two unforgivable mistakes.”
Kaspar got up, out of his seat. He knew what we were talking about. The little blonde girl watched him in confusion.
“Jeb,” I whispered.
“He killed your childhood best friend,” Jeb snapped.
“Shut up. He didn’t know any better.”
“Fuck that. He killed. . . he killed Sean!”
My throat got a little tight. “Stop it, Jeb.”
“And—”
I pulled the phone away from my ear, but I could still hear the name he said.
“Hunter!”
I hung up on him, immediately; a flash of white in my vision. I stood up, vigorously brushing myself off. I threw the cell phone on the table as if it had burned me. Kaspar was leaning against the wall behind me, beside a shelf full of children’s books.
“You’d have thought Cobra Mansion would have had a library in it,” he said, casually. “Too bad Samuel was too slow to read.” He scoffed a little.
“Don’t,” I snapped at him. “Don’t talk about him like that.”
Kaspar looked at me, evenly. “I’m sorry about everyone else, but not Samuel.”
I hesitated.
“I’m so, so sorry,” he said, pushing himself off the wall. He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist as he whispered, “You know that.”
I fell into his hold, knowing he wasn’t sorry, but that didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter.
“Do you love me?” he asked, timidly, even though I had answered this so many times.
“Yes,” I whispered, but only because I knew I had to. I closed my eyes, not bothering to stop the tear that slid down my cheek. I had lost everyone back at the mansion, everyone but Jeb, and I couldn’t lose him too. I knew, if I wouldn’t have calmed Kaspar down back then, he would have killed Jeb regardless of the fact that he had lost the game.
“She’s awake,” Jeb announced, relief strong in his tone. He helped me stand up and allowed me to lean against him for support.
Lost was watching Jeb, coolly and dangerously. I knew he was bitter about losing. And I now agreed with Jeb—he would kill him out of anger. He would twist the rules until I was his.
I pushed myself away from Jeb and stumbled into Lost. It was all part of the plan. I was thinking of Hunter. What would Hunter have done in my place? He was my inspiration.
Lost held me. “I have to win you, Tabs. I have to,” he whispered into my ear so Jeb couldn’t hear. “You have no idea how much I need you. I have to win.” He was rambling, completely irrational and quick. He was breathing oddly, like he was about to lose it—and I assumed he was. “Please, I have to win. . .”
What did he want from me? I stabled myself and looked at him, straight into his gray eyes. I leaned forwards and brushed my lips against his. He responded uncertainly, while I heard Jeb choke on his surprise.
“Tabby!?” he practically shrieked, grabbing me and forcing me away from Lost. I struggled against him, trying to touch Lost.
Lost blinked. “Let go of her,” he snapped, but it was weak and tired. Jeb uncertainly released me after I refused to stop wiggling. I grabbed Lost’s arm and buried my face against his shoulder.
“You do have me, Lost. I’m yours,” I said, softly, against him. “I love you.”
“But. . . I lost.”
“Who cares about the game?” I said, stepping back. “The game was bullshit.”
“But you’re perfect now,” Lost said, gesturing towards me. “You’re not afraid anymore.”
I smiled. “So you can love me too.” I pressed myself against him and kissed him quickly. “And I forgive you because I think I understand, so I can love you—and I do!”
Lost stared at me for awhile, as if comprehending everything.
“God, Lost, why was this so complicated?” I asked, and I stepped away a little. I did a slow spin, making sure to wink at Jeb as I did this. He looked sick. He knew I was acting, but he looked sick nonetheless.
“Hello?”
“What did Hunter die for, Tabby?”
I froze up at the words.
“He died so you could be free.”
I lowered my voice and put my hair in front of my face, blocking Kaspar’s view of my lips so he couldn’t read them. “I saved you. If I wouldn’t have calmed him down, he would have killed you.”
“But now I’m safe! Now we’re back home!”
I smiled. “I know.” And then I hung up. I looked back at Kaspar and held up the phone. “This annoying appliance is going in the trash.”
He looked at me with one eyebrow raised. “Or you could change your number.”
“Yeah. Or that.”
I shrugged. “Couples counseling. It’s kind of embarrassing for me.”
He nodded a little.
I looked at the knife rack above the counter and felt something churn in my stomach. I thought of Sean being pierced, over and over until he died. . . I remembered the dried blood around his wounds. . .
I clenched my jaw as I reached out and grabbed one of the knives. I held it in front of me, turning it over in my hands. Jeb was so hurt. Sean was gone, and I knew Michelangelo would never fill his place for Jeb.
“Why did you finally decide to tell me your name?” I asked, absently, only in hopes to rid my mind of thoughts of Sean and Jeb.
“Because I’m not lost anymore,” he said, softly, and wrapped his arms around me from behind. He kissed the back of my neck. “I’m not lost anymore because of you.”
“I think I’m lost, now,” I whispered, mainly to myself, but he heard me. I slowly, and shakily, placed the knife back in its holder.
He joked, “Maybe I should call you Lost now?” He then scoffed. “Seriously. Why do you say that?”
“Because I still hate you,” I said, still whispering.
He stiffened. “What?”
I smiled a little and motioned towards the chairs that remained under the dining table. He looked at them with a frown, then slowly pulled one out and sat. I smiled.
“What do you think, Lost?” I said, hollowly. I walked to the stove and turned the propane on. To myself, I murmured, “Hydrocarbon gas. . .” I looked at him with a small grin. “Flammable.”
He gave me a strange, if not anxious, look. “Are you alright?”
“No,” I said in all honesty, because I knew I wasn’t. I knew I hadn’t been since I had gotten off the island. Since Troy’s death, in fact, something in me had altered, and I knew I wasn’t in my right mind anymore. I missed myself—I couldn’t get her back, and to me, that was almost as horrible as losing. . . everyone in the mansion.
Hunter. . .
I opened a cabinet and took out a box of matches. Kaspar instantly stood up, now alarmed. I backed away as I broke a match off.
“Don’t touch me!” I snapped. He stepped towards me, but I held the match to the striker. He instantly stopped, and I saw him glance at the stove. There was a tense silence when we both listened to the sound of the propane escaping freely.
“Hunter died in a similar way,” I said, softly.
“Tabs, what the fuck?” Kaspar hissed through his teeth. “Are you fucking insane?”
I shrugged slightly. “Kind of.”
He jumped for me; for the match, but I slid back. Just as he was catching his balance, I whispered, “Boom,” and flicked the match. He didn’t have time to lunge again before we were consumed.
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fin
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BTW, if you’re wondering about new stories, since I just ended two old stories. . . I should be putting one up pretty soon (on this account, Hate to Hope) called “The Natural Born”. It should be up within the next two weeks!
hearthearts!
San123, Cooties, GuM is YuM, Ferret on Meth, Starlilly, K3aly, nfgcassie, Myztique, MyPerfectHell, MagicalShade, elven-lady22, Amopet4, runningrunning, Lost-in-Dark, sharp-tounged, Martini Kiss, PearlinTheMist, Amethyst-Heart, babe anjwl, insane-mocha, morikoT, writtenreality, Cloudie, aqua-angel, sephare, twistedFAerieTALes, Ti, Ts’u Hs’u - Hime, Blue Devil012, AutumnBreezes, Black Orkid, marina eyes, talenyn, psychedelic mishap, v, tii jay, sketchingaCYNiC, Trippy77, Hotkitty, DuchessYappingDog, Steph, free-to-dream15, Martini Kisses, anonymous, Ellabella, EmilyTheWise, Essence of Reality, Poof, Cariwyn, LilLaTLuv, topsecret32, Mochi, Stephanie, BITT3RSW33T, trijinkijapan27, Otabee Mox, Death Princess, DESTINYHUNTER, Rae, Psycho Midget 19, AubriannaKnight, Sey Lee, Syrith11, Anh D-ao, Accidently on Purpose, thep, tomorrowgirl911, Cherise, DragonFaeLynn, talenyn, MyPerfectHell.
- runningrunning: nah, Hunter didn’t want to break the window, anyway. he wanted to die so Tabs would win.
- aqua-angel: aw, thank you so much! And how often do I write? I used to try to write daily, but now I don’t have the time. now it’s whenever I can.
- Ts’u Hs’u - Hime: she meant that she won the game, but she didn’t feel like a winner because almost everyone except Jeb died, so she feels like she lost anyways.
- talenyn: oh. . . I’m sorry :(
- Hotkitty: I’m halfway through your story “Hunter” and I love it! Haha, I just had to say that. anyways, on to the response. yeah, Lost and Tab’s relationship is pretty confusing. and sure, you can email me the outline of your new story! I doubt it’s really similar, but it wouldn’t hurt to check. haha, and yeah. . . Lost is a pretty calm character, MOST of the time. He’s the way he is because, yes, he was born that way, and it also didn’t help that his relationship with his parents was a little off. I think it’s Jeb who says something like, “who doesn’t love their parents as a child?” So that’s basically what started it, and then the seclusion added, and Lost began to form his own views that weren’t affected by other people, and there was no one to “correct” him. thanks for the long review! J’adore!
- Steph: How did Tabs win? Hunter died before Jeb, and that’s out of order, because, as it is somewhat explained in this chapter, Hunter saved Jeb when he fell.
- anonymous: Hunter died before Jeb.
- topsecret32: you want to use my story to talk about in class? Haha, I’m flattered. and about the pink mitten and the darts. . . Lost didn’t actually have to slap Jeb with a mitten to claim his duel. The mitten painting just symbolized the duel. and your other question, Lost did not see Jeb. I made a point of mentioning that Lost was staring at the forest path—the opposite direction that Jeb was in.
- trijinkijapan27: ahh, I loved your review—thanks so much! Haha.
- talenyn: I’m confused. What’s with the apology? Haha. I’m sorry about your unfortunate encounter, it seems like everyone’s been having them this week.
- MyPerfectHell: aha, well, Hunter never lived in either of the endings.