Little Johnny's got a hacksaw, Miss
Says he's going to rip someone's head off
Little Johnny's got a hacksaw, Miss
Says he'll get the wimp and the boff

I'm sorry dear, I can't do nought
Not if the parents are going to find out

Little Johnny's got a knife now, Miss
Keeps waving it round and around
Little Johnny's got a knife now, Miss
Says he'll get any one for a pound

I'm sorry dear, I can't do nought
Not if the governors are going to find out

Little Johnny's got a tin opener, Miss
Reckons he's going to peel Jenny's head open
Little Johnny's got a tin opener, Miss
Keeps saying she's next for the oven

I'm sorry dear, I can't do nought
Not if the inspectors are going to find out

Little Johnny's got a pellet gun, Miss
He's already left the head's dog blind
Little Johnny's got a pellet gun, Miss
Reckons he'll get anything he can find

I'm sorry dear, I can't do nought
Not if it's my eyes'll get blown out

Little Johnny's got a rounders bat, Miss
But he's not trying out for the team
Little Johnny's got a rounders bat, Miss
Says he's gonna make next door's cat scream

I'm sorry dear, I can't do nought
Not if it means he's going to be kicked out

Little Johnny's got a real gun, Miss
Says he'll get us all before lunch
Little Johnny's got a real gun, Miss
He's gonna use it, that's not a hunch

I'm sorry dear, I can't do nought
Not if the -