I long to tell the world, just confess my love for you, but every time you whisper, asking and begging me, to keep it a secret.

Your dark eyes shimmer with tears of fear, and I relent, forcing a smile and whisper,

‘I love you’

though my voice is thick with tears.

I know that those words assure you,

I only wish they did the same for me.

I don't like hiding. I just want. . .

no,

need,

to be with you forever.

I don't understand why you care about faceless and nameless people,

you don't know them

and

they do not and can never know you.

At least, not the way I do.

I wish I could take that fear, but I know I can't.

I remember when . . . when I was merely content to watch you from afar, when just hearing your voice, even when it wasn't directed at me, would send me chills.

My dream was just to see you smiling at me.

When you did, it still wasn’t enough,

for the moment we locked eyes. . .

I fell in love.

We became friends, inseparable, and as our friendship grew so did my love for you.

I should have been satisfied when we laid side by side, hand in hand and did nothing but talk for hour after hour confessing secrets, dreams, and fears.

But no, not even that was enough.

I remember the first time we kissed. You had married only days before.

You confessed that you didn't love her.

I held you while you cried,

never had you pulled me closer.

I remember the first time we made love,

You told me that all that mattered in your life,

was me.

I wish you would tell me those simple words, just once more.

I would never want to hurt you, or call you a liar,

maybe your feelings have just changed,

even though mine never will.

I know when we are alone you tell me just how much you love me.

I can only hopeit’s still true.

I’ve never doubted you before, so why should I now?

Out of closed doors though,

you don't even touch me,

we barely meet eyes or exchange words.

Are you that ashamed of me?

I wish I had the courage to tell you just how much it hurts not to be with you all the time.

But I don’t.

I cry when you’re not with me,

but,

I know it doesn’t matter

they’re only tears.

I wish I could be enough, I'm sorry, I really do try.

I hope after reading this you still love me.

I even hope you used to.

I hope this isn't a lie, or a game, because no matter what you do, or what happens,

I will always love you.

I can’t stop.