I don’t remember exactly when it happened, all I know is that when it did, my mind was buzzing with fireworks and my heart was pounding so hard I figured it was going to blow up, or something.

Kissing Nash was something; even if I was drunk, and even if it lasted a second because Dorian tripped over me and went crashing down, beer flying and all. But that’s all I remember. And that was about a year ago, so I bet he’s forgotten my kissby now. My childhood crush has grown up and matured, and just moved back from his prestigious all-boys school, where he flunked out. Nash’s parents both went to boarding school and Harvard, where they met and decided the other was likable enough to marry and have children with. Of course, thankfully, they never decided to send their daughter off. Dorian always said I should date her brother because then we could get married and she could be my sister. That was in third grade and I didn’t like boys back then, but as soon as I hit seventh grade I couldn’t get enough of Nash. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not obsessed. But I think that since Dorian bore the idea of marrying him in my brain, I’ve never let that go.

So when I saw him walking towards me after eighth period, I started sweating like crazy, and not just that, but I think I hyperventilated as well, but stuck my head in the locker to prevent him from seeing my drenched brow. Nash isn’t exactly what you would call normal either. He’s pretty tall with reddish brown hair that falls into his eyes, and when he walks he stares at his dirty, ripped up converse. I think it’s so he can tell when a chunk is about to fall off, but Dorian says its because he’s antisocial. Anyway, I could hear him walk through the hallway, which is weird because about a thousand other students were walking at the time. Maybe I am obsessive. And then I heard the sigh next to me and I stiffened. I wiped my face on the sweater in my locker and slowly leaned out. My heart quickly returned to it’s normal beat as I saw that it was only Dorian.

“ Jeez, Aimee, you look so scared. Did you just see Jesus tap-dancing in your locker? If you did, I wanna see him, and tell him to listen to my prayers, because I don’t see that hot guy in my chemistry class asking me out.” She said sarcastically and slammed her head back against the lockers. I took the books I needed and closed my locker softly. I was having a depressing day too. It was only a matter of weeks before the end of the school year and my beloved Nash would no longer grace the halls with his presence. Dorian looked at me through her bangs and sighed again.

“ Don’t worry. He’ll still be living at home. He hasn’t got any idea of what he’s going to do. And you know, he doesn’t hate you.”

“ He cheated on his girlfriend with me and she saw us, Dor. Honestly I don’t think he even wanted to kiss me.”

“ Aimee, he was more drunk than you thought he was. He didn’t even remember what happened. And he broke up with her because he didn’t like her.” Dorian said, twirling her ID.

“ SEE? He didn’t remember. So he doesn’t know!”

“ Jesus Aim, would you let it go?”

I fell silent as I saw a person approaching us. And of course it was Nash, no doubt coming to ask his sister if she needed a ride after school.

Hey sis. Hey Aimee.”

I gave him a little wave and bit my lip. If he were standing any closer he would probably smell the deodorant doing its job. So I stepped back a little bit and I guess he looked offended, and just averted his eyes to Dorian.

“ So need a ride after school? I’m going to Burke’s later to pick up my amp. I was wondering if you two wanted to come along.”

Dorian looked at me with this, this evil smile and turned back to Nash.

“ Yeah. We’ll go. We’ve got nothing else to do.” She said. But I did have something to do. It goes along the lines of ‘I need to write this huge paper due tomorrow and I haven’t started yet’. But I nodded my head because I didn’t want to seem like a dork in front of Nash. And he nodded his head forcefully and smiled at us.

“ Alright. Cool. Then I’ll take you out, alright? Burgers and ice cream? Cool.” He mumbled and walked away without an answer. It was a good thing I didn’t drive to school today, otherwise I would have had to turn down the invitation. Thank you oil change.

---

“ I graded your tests, so you can all come up here and grab them if you like. I have to say I’m thoroughly disappointed in most of you. This was the last big test and most of you barely scraped by.” Mr. Dentley droned. He looked at me in my seat and smiled. I supposed he smiled because of two reasons: the first being that he seemed to like me, despite the 7-year age difference, and the second reason being that I was probably the only one who got an A on the test. Having history last was a blessing; because all my other classes were so boring that I could look forward to this one at the end of the day. So as soon as the bell rang, I sighed and walked out before anyone else, clutching my A test. I remembered that I wasn’t going home for a while and then remembered that I would be in the same car as the boy I had a major crush on. So I started sweating. I ran to the bathroom and took out my deodorant from my backpack and applied some more. I once got a rash from using too much deodorant, so I used a bit less lately. But this was an emergency. What if we had the windows closed and then Nash would ask what that flowery yet stinky smell was, and him and Dorian would turn around and look at me and they would see the wetness under my arms and tell me how gross I am and Nash would never talk to me again. But then again, I don’t really get that bad in certain situations, as long as I keep it under control. I walked out of the stall, right into Mr. Dentley. Now, on a normal day I would have asked him why he was in the girls washroom, but I was too nervous about Nash that I just blanked out. He smiled and steadied me, and before I could protest, he squished me to his chest.

“ Now Aimee, I don’t want you to freak out.”

“ I’m not freaking out.” I said into his sweater. Why he was wearing a sweater in 80-degree weather was beyond me. He pulled me away from him, and pushed me into a stall. Now I was freaking out. I wondered if this was like one of those moments when you know something bad is about to happed, but you can't do anything about it. He closed the stall behind him, and grinned at me.

“ Pervert.” I spat. I tried to sneer, but he took it the wrong way and launched at me. He tore off my shirt but I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t move; I was so paralyzed from fear.

“ If you yell, I’ll get you. If you tell anyone...” He warned. “ You’ll never see the light of another day.”

I thought this was an old-fashioned way to say it, considering he was only twenty-four. I started to squirm out of his grasp but he caught me and held me in place. He leaned forward and slobbered on my neck and it was just about all I could take with this pervert. But I still couldn’t do anything because I was too much of a chicken shit. I closed my eyes against all of it and then heard the voice of an angel.

“ Aimee? You in here?” I heard the male voice call, and before I could remember Mr. Dentley’s warning I replied.

“ Yes!”

My history teacher glared at me and covered my mouth with one hand and unzipped his pants with another. My eyes grew wide at the sight of a big bulge in his pants. I started freaking out.

“ You’ll tell him you’ll be out in a minute.” Dentley said with a cruel smile. He uncovered my mouth and I lost the courage to shout for help.

“ Are you okay in there?” Nash’s concerned voice echoed off the bathroom walls. I whimpered and shook. I couldn’t save myself.

“ I’ll be out...in a minute.” I said unwillingly, as the pervert pushed my shirt up. He touched my thigh and started going even higher. It was a brilliant day to wear a thong.

“ Are you sure you’re okay?” he said, noticing the panic in my voice. I couldn’t answer because I had to fight off the hand getting perpetually closer to my private regions. When he succeeded I screamed and Nash burst in. He punched Mr. Dentley square in the face and I couldn’t believe this was all happening to me. I pulled down my skirt and crawled under the stall into the next.

“ You fucking pervert! Keep your hands off her!” I heard the slam of a body against the stall and it shook. I got out of the stalls and crawled up into a little ball behind the door. There was some more thrashing about and then silence.

“ I swear to god, Dentley. I’m going to get you for this.” Nash said, and spit on the man. “ You’ll never work at another school again.” He walked out of the stall and picked up my backpack. I saw my deodorant left on the floor but I didn’t care. I didn’t care anymore and ill I felt like doing was washing myself over and over again. Nash stood over me, tears of anger in his eyes to match mine of fright and sadness. He squatted in front of me and held my shirt to me. I put it on without a word.

“ I’m sorry.” He said, and helped me up. The hair fell into his eyes so I could no longer to see if they were wet, but his voice cracked, and he was shaking in anger. He held me to him and we walked out. Dorian came running to us with a puzzled expression on her face.

“ Do you want to go home?” Nash gently asked me. Despite the urge to wash myself, I shook my head.

“ What happened?” Dorian asked worriedly. I closed my eyes and leaned on Nash for a second. I couldn’t get the image of what just happened out of my head. I shuddered.

“ Want to come to our house?” Nash looked at me.

“ Yes please.”

“ C’mon guys. Tell me.” Dorian whined, but Nash shook his head. As we got into the car, Dorian fell silent with realization that something really bad happened to me. I laid in the back, with my hand over my eyes, waiting for the moment that I could feel warm water hit me and wash away the dirt, the nasty reminder of what was done to me. I was lucky that he didn’t do anything that bad. I felt the car stop and Dorian and Nash got out, both opening the door for me. I got of the car and grasped Dorian. She hugged me back and I held onto her and started to cry. She stroked my head and pulled me away from her.

“ Let’s get you inside.” She said. I nodded and followed the siblings to the house.

After leaving a message at home that I was sleeping over at Dorian’s house, I hopped into their shower and stayed there for at least an hour. I heard the door open and close again. My body tensed up until I heard Dorian’s voice.

“ Nash told me what happened. She said, no doubt sitting on the little seat next to the shower.“ I’m sorry. He’s really mad though.” She gave an uneasy laugh. I scrubbed myself hard, rinsed and turned the shower off. I pulled the curtain away and Dorian handed me a towel. I wrapped myself up in it, and then grabbed another guest towel for my hair.

“ I didn’t think something like that, could happen to me.” I told her softly. She nodded and picked at a loose thread.

“ You aren’t going to think less of me because of this, are you?”

“ Aimee what are you talking about? I love you, and you were hurt. I’m here for you always.”

I sat down on the toilet and faced her.

“ If it weren’t for your brother...” I didn’t finish.

“ Are you going to tell anyone?”

I didn’t answer her. I didn’t know how to answer her. She realized this and handed me a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.

“ I couldn’t find anything clean for you to wear so I got you Nash’s boxers and t-shirt.” She grinned at me and I gave her a weak smile back. I held the shirt to my face and inhaled. It smelled strongly of clean laundry and some essence of Nash. I sighed and pulled it on, and then the boxers. I left the towel around my shoulders for my hair to dry on it. Dorian was already in her pajamas, and she led me to the living room where she had set up plates of cookies and chocolate and also several bowls of chips and other junk food. I smiled at her effort to cheer me up, but I didn’t think I could get my mind off of the incident. That is, until she pulled out A Walk To Remember and I squealed with glee. Only Shane West and Mandy Moore could make me forget about life and absorb me into their world of love.

“ What’re you two up to?” Nash appeared and his voice gave me goose bumps. I turned to him and smiled a thanks. I wished I could just run to him and have him hold me in his arms, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

“ We’re going to watch a girly movie.” Dorian told him and grinned evilly.

“ Can I join?” he asked, surprising us both. We looked at each other.

“ Sure,” I said, “ If you can stand the squeals and aww’s.”

“ I think I can manage.” He said with a dorky grin. He then flopped onto the couch and grabbed a bowl of Chex-mix. I sat next to him and grabbed the bowl back. He looked at me with these puppy eyes and I placed it back on his lap. Dorian sat down and looked at us, shaking her head.

---

I got up in the middle of the night for a glass of water. I knew I really didn’t want a glass of water, but I had just woken up from a nightmare and I hoped that if I did go downstairs then a movie scene would happen and Nash would be there too. So I slowly crept downstairs, and got a glass of water. I sat at the table and waited. Sure enough Nash came innocently ambling in. He didn’t see me, and opened the fridge and took out a can of root beer. Sitting down across from me, he rubbed his eyes. Then he finally looked up and jumped a little bit. I smiled at him and he laughed.

“ Couldn’t sleep?” He asked and I nodded.

“ Where are your parents?” I inquired.

“ Out in Montana.”

“ For what?”

“ It’s their 25th anniversary, and they got sick of exotic places.” He shrugged. I grinned and sipped at my water.

“ Listen Aimee...” Nash said and blinked a few times. I looked up at him and gave him my best puzzled-yet-cute face.

“ Ah. Never mind.” He said, putting his face in his hands and rubbing all over. I just sat there and wondered what he wanted. But he didn’t give me the chance to ask because he said goodnight and literally ran to his room. I got a good glimpse of his butt as he ran away though. At least.