I remember when you suffocated me

Pinning me down with generous packaging

Pumping out present after present for me to adore

Shoved in bubble wrap and styrofoam peanuts

Topped with a bow and tucked in

Snug as a bug in the palm of your hands

Because you had some kind of habitual instinct

That ran through your blood

And desperately needed to be dealt with

I could hardly breathe those days

Dizzy with your chloroform

But just before I drifted out of consciousness

You took it all back unaware

Of how far you had me in unaware

Of the knick-knack that was here long before you

That shapely balloon is still covered in dust

Caked in that disgusting grayish fuzz so thoroughly

That you can barely fathom the letters inscribed

Words you know all too well

To spew and flick off your tongue

At whatever tempo comes first

I took a two hour shower

Just so I didn’t have to be reminded of the time

And the way the minutes ticked on for hours

While I twiddled my thumbs

Hoping that you’d set your priorities straight

Because I know that nowadays you’d much rather be elsewhere

I dolled myself up

Slipped on some heels and a skirt

Did my hair up real nice

Put on lipstick earrings the works

I lied to myself for twenty minutes

Staring past the mirror

Trying to look in on myself

Anybody else would have appreciated that effort

The sheer lengths I went to

Just to get that damned goofy smile

To spread across your face

Shifting everything in its path

If I’m as beautiful as you’ve so often said I am

Enough that I could have any man

That I wanted

Then why can’t I have you

How come your logic has to fail me

In the one place I need it most

My heart is tossing itself against a bated rib

In a manner that makes me want to take it out myself

With trembling hands just so I can show you

How pathetically scared I am of losing you

But a quick finger to a chin

Never solved any real problems