A Very Maurey Barbie

Disclaimer: I do not owner Barbie. Nor do I own Maurey. Nor do I condone any of this. But it sure was fun to write…

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I feel sorry for Barbie's parents. I mean, they're like, 100, and they're still reproducing. Viagra is a hell of a drug. Barbie, Skipper, Stacey, Kelly, Krissy…

Skipper was the cool one, Stacey's annoying, Krissy is, like, three months old, Kelly is a little brat, Krissy has, like, two outfits, and Barbie… Barbie got one good facelift and now she's dating all of Skipper's friends.

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"Hey, sis, why don't you date guys YOUR age?" Skipper asked.

"Because they're all wrinkly." Barbie replied.

"Not when they're-" Skipper began, but was interrupted by Teresa's parents coming in.

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Teresa got married. Meg got married. Everyone but Barbie got married. Actually, Barbie WAS a bride, but I think that she and Ken got a divorce when they sound out he had herpes because he had been screwing the chick in the wheelchair who was screwing Black Ken.

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"Fuck this, man… I'm gonna bang that Asian chick." Black Ken said.

"Kira?" Ken asked. "Yeah, she's got HPV."

Kira, who had overheard him, yelled, "That's only because of you, you bastard! AND I WANT CHILD SUPPORT!"

"Whoa!" Ken exclaimed, "I ain't the daddy of that kid!"

"Fine, then." Kira replied. "I wanna go on Maurey and get you tested!"

"I am NOT the father!" Ken protested.

"Oh yeah?!" Kira asked.

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A week later, they show up on Maurey.

Maurey gets the results and says, "When it comes to 6 months old Xiangua, Ken, you are NOT the father."

"Yeah bitch!" Ken exclaimed. "I told you!"

Kira ran off the stage, crying.

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And the moral is… get married or get a good facelift and date your younger sister's friends.