Prologue

--To be added--

Chapter 1

She’d thought her world couldn’t get any darker until the day the letter came, the letter that told her about her brother’s death in the line of duty. The letter that had sealed her fate and had her sent home. As the only surviving child of her family she was no longer allowed to fight and so was immediately shoved onto a Seattle bound plane.

That was one week ago and today she sat in a cramped little church surrounded by people that had come to pay their respects. She didn’t really know any of the people gathered for her brother’s funeral and so instead of talking to them she glared at the urn sitting before a blown up picture of her brother in his uniform. The same letter that had told her of her brother’s death had also informed her that because there was not enough left of her brother to bother with a burial he had been cremated, hence her glaring at the urn.

She was alone in the first pew of the church and she liked it that way. Nobody had known what to say to her and more often than not they had just looked at her with pity in their eyes, she couldn’t stand that look. Sure she’d lost her parents and now her brother to the God forsaken War but that didn’t mean she wanted their pity.

As much as she loved her brother she just couldn’t focus on the sermon the priest was giving, her mind was elsewhere. It was drifting through all her memories of him and it wasn’t until she heard the priest ask, “Would you like to say anything Caeria?” that she was drawn out of the memories.

Numbly Caeria nodded, ‘yes,’ to the priest and waited until he had stepped out from behind the podium before she stood to take his place. The pew creaked and complained at her movement but it Caeria ignored it. Slowly Caeria took the steps onto the platform that the podium sat on, she just couldn’t bring herself to move any faster.

As she stood behind the podium looking out at the people who had come to say goodbye to her brother Caeria’s eyes lost their focus and she felt a tear stream down her cheek. With a quick breath she gathered her thoughts before saying softly, “Jonathan was much more than just my brother, he was also my friend and protector growing up.” At that, her voice caught in her throat and Caeria had to swallow a couple times to make the lump go away before she could continue. Finally she managed to get out, “He was always quick to make friends and always tried to see the best in any situation.” Many people nodded their heads at this statement but Caeria wasn’t sure if they were just acknowledging her words or if they actually knew from experience. Not really caring the reasons she finished with, “My life without my brother will never be the same but its not me I feel sorry for, I feel sorry for all the people who will never meet him. I feel sorry for all the people who will never get to experience the joy of hearing him laugh or seeing him smile or listening to him talk. Without people like my brother the world has become a cold and scary place that I no longer wish to be part of but by some twist of fate I will be the one left to live in it. If it had been me to die at least the world would have had one little speck of hope and joy left in my brother but he is gone and I am here. I mourn the world’s loss, not just my own.”

The church was silent by the time that Caeria finished. She hadn’t meant to say so much, especially not what she said at the end. She really hadn’t meant to let her feelings show but by the end Caeria’s tone had been gruff with pain. The tears had stopped falling but her eyes were bright with anger.

Feeling a gentle hand on her shoulder Caeria turned and saw the priest, tears shining in his own eyes, and she nodded once to him and quickly made her way back to her empty pew.

The service was over shortly after Caeria spoke and she sat quietly as people came and spoke to her, telling her how much they would miss her brother. Each and every one of them she answered with a nod and, “Yes I know, I will miss him too.” Her mind and her heart had once again retreated to her memories; the only place she would ever see her brother alive again.

After all the people had left the priest and other clergy carefully gathered up all the flowers and cards that had been left and put them in Caeria’s car along with the blown up picture of Jonathan. The last thing to be taken from the church was the urn and that the priest brought to Caeria personally. She’d been sitting in the idling car while it was loaded with the flowers so when the priest tapped on her window Caeria pushed the button and it rolled down with a soft hum. “Here my dear, you know where he’ll be happiest,” the priest said simply as he handed the urn through the window.

Caeria took the urn without saying a word and with only the barest of smiles she nodded her thanks to the priest before rolling up her window and driving away.

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She’d parked the car back at the bottom of the hill and had hiked up through the trees and bushes to the rocky outcrop she now sat on, staring out over Puget Sound. Goose rock on Whidbey Island had always been a favorite place of her brother’s when they had been growing up. Although the Navy base on the island had long ago been bombed and then abandoned the island was still a wonderful place to experience nature and so their parents had brought Caeria and Jonathan camping many times.

At the memory of chasing her brother up the trail to the top Caeria looked at the urn that was cradled in her lap. With a bittersweet smile lifting the corner of her mouth she said softly, “You always wanted to come here again so here we are.” She wanted to say more to him but the words just wouldn’t form in her mouth.

Giving a quick nod she grabbed the urn and unfolded her legs, letting them tingle as feeling seeped back into them after sitting so long. When they had stopped tingling Caeria stood up and before she could stop herself she took the lid off the urn and tipped it. Jonathan’s ashes fell out of the urn in a light grey shower and were blown into a small whirlwind in the air currents surrounding the outcropping.

The tears that made their way down Caeria’s cheeks went unnoticed as she watched the last of her brother drift away on the wind. She stood there for only a moment after the urn was emptied before she turned her back on the view and headed back into the forest. The hike back down to the car would be the longest she would ever take.