A/N – Very dark fic ahead. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Who Am I?

Who am I? I look at myself in the mirror, silently pondering that question. I see eyes looking out from a youthful face. Eyes that have seen more pain and suffering than anyone on Earth. Eyes that hold deep secrets within them, eyes that have suffered through dark periods of life. Each new line on my face is created by stress, the stress that I have had to endure throughout my 20 odd years of life. The stress that builds up hourly, daily, monthly, weekly – yearly. I keep it bottled up inside me, but it shows. I snap at every one around me when I’m irritated and cranky. They don’t know the reason why I do it, but I do.

My eyes look back at me in the mirror, reflecting the thoughts of my heart. My heart which, until only just recently, pulsated with depression and anguish. Fear and sorrow, greed and hate, animosity and jealousy. And out of that savage mixture of primordial emotions came only one way out. The one way that I knew that I could end my suffering and leave this world.

Suicide.

I was thinking of taking my own life. Dark thoughts crept into my mind – diseased with a black rot that never went away. Nothing could pull me back from falling off the edge of that endless chasm of depression. Nothing I did seemed to turn out right, everything collapsed around me so I stopped trying altogether.

I studied, but only half-heartedly – for my heart grew weary of this world. I longed to see how I could die, what way I could end my pain and suffering. Nothing seemed to work out, hanging seemed like one option – until I found out that I couldn’t find any rope. Overdose of pills, yeah, but after an incident in my early years, I can’t swallow pills willingly. Slashing my wrists or my throat, maybe – but where to find a knife sharp enough to cut through flesh? Plus there’s the mess – all that blood spraying everywhere creates one hell of a mess. Or so I’m told.

Darkness filled my heart for a long time. There was no light passing through that cloud, but now there is a small shaft of pure light illuminating the darkness. That light is urging me to stay on this planet a while longer, to not take my own life but to stay true to myself and my goals. Taking advice from other people willingly and giving it, to help people struggling with heavier burdens than I – for they know more pain and sorrow than I have ever felt. Or have they?

Who am I? I’m not a superhero, though in this world we could use a few. Those are the people that will lift us up and brighten our days. I’m no angel – I’ve dipped my hand a few too many times in the cesspit of Evil – but I know a few people who are, or are close to it. I’m no saviour either, but I have found my saviour in the form of my soulmate who I will forever love as long as I am on this Earth.

Who am I?

My name is Weihan Liang.

That’s all there is to it.