Nothing’s going right today

My hear is aching with pain

I’m under appreciated

Ignored for the lesser people

The cuts on my arm now become scars

And I’m close to tears

I’m only holding them back so no one will see

And I’ve been so angry

I’m never happy anymore

I feel my skin shiver at an invisible cold

And sometimes I wish I could rip out my heart

My perfect imperfection taunts me

My soul’s unquenchable thirst parches my useless throat

My music is sad also

The melody wraps around me influencing all I do

Sometimes I wish I could live in a coma forever

Safe to dream and love inside myself

Or maybe I could travel the roads of the hero in a book

In the places only do I escape from my reality

And I’m trapped now in doors where the wind ruffles my hair

And everyone’s looking at me

Through me, seeing only what they wish

And I wish I could love them, love him

And this year’s been hell

And my friends are my friends aren’t my friends are my friends

And the confrontation is inevitable and I fear it the most

There’s nothing I can do right

Because forever I’ve planned, only to live in the moment

So I don’t know what to do about life and myself

I’ve lived on love, lust, or is it the same thing anyway?

Do I see the world through the eyes of the beholder?

Or do I only see a fabrication?

And I want to be used

I want to be abused

And I’m so afraid of it

I’m inferior, superior?

Lost and drifting

And all these words I scream on the page

And the real reflection of my blood and mind

They’re my diary, my mental escape

And my emotions enchant them as they seep onto the page

The ink, the lead, the tears, and silent blood

All roar through me, waiting to be released

To be shown the way into the world

To communicate my dormant, hidden self

The person in me who is me

Even though I don’t know her

She is my reflection in the mirror

The one I can almost but never remember

The one inside me always lost