Blooper Page: Because some of you must be expecting it by this time…

TemplarNight: Wait, Rosalind and Rease are having sex and Rosalind thinks she’s a boy?

Lisette Jester: Rease is convincing the audience and the girl that she is a boy and she doesn't tell Rosalind the truth. At least not in this encounter. really it's just oral sex with a girl.

TemplarNight: oh, I was just about to ask how Rosalind didn't notice.

Lisette Jester: lol I figured that was the next obvious question. Either that or Rease has got one hell of a good strap on.

L.J. : Shut up and go away. I just killed off my main character’s love interest. It’s a critical moment.

Princess Anime (who does not own a portion of my soul): Why did you kill her off!

L.J.: They were enemies. It’s for plot development. Plus if Reese doesn’t suffer now, later her pathos will just seem artificial and unfounded. To do justice to the future plot the ice witch whose the love of Rease’s life must suffer a sad and tragic demise. Rease must vow to never love again.

PA: Can’t you bring her back from the dead.

L.J.: She’s already been dead. No.

PA: But they’re in love! It’s true love!

L.J.: It doesn’t further the plot development.

PA: How can you be this way?

L.J.: I’m a writer.

PA: You’re a monster.

L.J.: Yeah well… unlikely synonyms. What’s your point?

Lisette Jester: well that was depressingly short for a bloopers page… hum… Let’s see what the animals have to add.

Majestic and cool, Storm and Boreas quietly enter a grassy meadow together, they regard the audience a moment as if disinterested and then begin to graze.

Lisette Jester: Well…. not that grazing horse’s aren’t riveting… What if they talked?

Storm: Hey Bori, who are those people out there?

Boreas: The audience, they’ve been there for the whole story.

Storm: wide-eyedAll of it.

Boreas: Yes. Now shut up and eat.

Storm: But this grass tastes like shit.

Boreas: Stop eating the part that growing out of a dragon feces and maybe you’ll like it better.

He considers and then goes to eat the grass that Boreas is eating. He is silent a moment, then resumes conversing.

Storm: Hey if the audience has been there the whole time, does that mean they saw me save the rider person.

Boreas: Her name is Rease, and yes, I’m certain they remember that…

Storm: rearing up on two legs Hey check me out! I saved the rider person! Ain’t I cool!

Boreas: Aren’t I cool.

Storm: You’re not cool. You’re old enough to be my mother.

Boreas: They saw you trying to mount me too.

Storm: with much chagrin Oh… well that was a… a one time thing…

Boreas: I wish.

Storm: with more chagrin Yeah… um… well… never mind. goes back to eating the grass. He again perks up excitedly Hey! Does that mean that they know the whole story.

Boreas: Storm, shut up and eat. No wonder the author didn’t want us to speak in the story.

Storm: I’m gonna tell them the real story.

Boreas: But, they just heard.

Storm: Shut up, Bori. I’ve made up my mind. They want the heroes point of view.

Boreas: You’re not the hero, Storm. You’re the toddler that the hero sits on.

Storm: It was a dark and stormy night, when I first met the rider person.

Boreas: Don’t be ridiculous. It was afternoon and quite sunny.

Storm: Well… I’m changing the beginning… It’s not befitting to see the hero… um…

Boreas: horny as hell.

Storm: No I was… um…

Boreas: chasing after the only female pegasus in sight.

Storm: Um… no, actually I didn’t realize you were a female until later…

Boreas: I’m going to piss in your oats tonight.

Storm: Oh like, that’s never happened before… wait a minute you’ve pissed in my oats before?

Boreas: weren’t you telling a story, child?

Storm: Oh yeah… So I met the rider person and then…um…well I want to put the beginning somewhere else. I met her and then we… um we beat the wizard guy!

Boreas: You weren’t even with her when she beat Davidos.

Storm: I was too. I meant the other wizard guy. The chick with the crown… her uncle dude.

Boreas: I was the pegasus Rease took when she saved the princess because you don’t like double riders. And that was one of her later missions. You’re missing all the drama of her early years.

Storm: yeah well, nothing interesting happened to her before she had me as her pegasus.

Boreas: I beg your pardon! I was her pegasus.

Storm: Yeah, so nothing interesting happened.

Boreas: Well, I think everything that happened to her after you became her pegasus is only interesting in that it pertains to Rease’s legend.

Storm: What?

Boreas: You are merely a vehicle to adventure. Rease’s glory far extends your meager form or the mild experiences she has while in flight upon you. The true bravery of Rease is what occurs while she is on the ground locked in mortal combat and struggling against the powers of evil on her own and unaccompanied by her loyal, but essentially useless, winged stallion.

Storm: Shit… I can’t even remember what you said at the beginning of that sentence, let alone understand what the fuck you just said.

Boreas: Shut up and eat.

(later on)

Storm bursts into the grassy meadow where Boreas is grazing and paws excitedly at the ground around her, frolicking like the fool that he is.

Storm: Hey! Hey! Hey! Bori! Guess what! Guess what! Guess what, Bori! Guess what! The writer person! She wants us to narrate the blooper page!

Boreas: Get away from me, Child. The author didn’t want us to have the power of speech in the story, I doubt the author has changed its mind now.

Storm: No really! Really really! The writer person told me so!

Boreas: Very well, what are we to narrate?

Storm is silence, falling still and then pawing the ground pensively. His ears suddenly perk and he jumps back to life, flickering into the air and bucking with his excitement.

Storm: The blooper’s page! The writer person wants us to narrate the blooper’s page.

Boreas: returns to grazing And what, child, is the blooper’s page?

Storm: Um… that’s a really good question. he pauses for a long moment, nibbling the grass A really good question, indeed. Let me go ask, the rider person.

Boreas: Her name is Rease. Idiot, stallion… she looks after him He’s got cute flanks though…

snaps back to herself I can’t believe Rease prefers riding him to me. Not that I enjoy going on her missions though. Annoying missions, why can’t she be happy just feeing us oats and singing all day like she was in the stables of the prince. Oh well…

Storm returns chewing up the earth beneath his hoofs

Storm: She told me not to bother her. She’s sending that stray ice dragon to do it instead.

Boreas: The stray ice dragon?

Storm: Chasing his tail Yeah, the one that the ice witch person used to ride, the one that tries to eat us all the time.

Boreas: looking to the skies where Jahellen’s dragon is swooping down like a hawk. Storm! Fly!

Storm: what? noticing the dragon Whoa!

The dragon ascends with a great flap of his wings and glares at the audience: I hate you. You are all pointless and mean nothing, because everything is pointless and means nothing. But the Lisette Jester told me I would be turned into an optimistic pronoid if I didn’t read a proclamation and statement of gratitude. The author had no other choice being as Storm only has a third grade reading level and Boreas is jaded to threats… the dragon considers this a moment Anyway… proclamation…

Dragon clears his throat

There is another grand adventure looming on the horizon… Well, that’s a bit grandiose. The writer is still writing. The third one is called… checks the paper “Force of Wills”. It features the incubus from “Dreams Unpursued” and the rider from this story… reads from paper locked in an unpredictable and heart-rending struggle against each other… looks up unimpressed I’ll bet. Anyways if you liked this story go forth and read “Force of Wills”… provided the writer finishes it and is inspired by your enthusiasm to post it… good luck with that and all…

sighs deeper than before

Onward then to the statement of gratitude.

dragons takes a deep breath about to read and then sighs

I’ve changed my mind. You all deserve to be eaten, because most of you stopped reviewing and most of you are humans, and um… well I’m an irreconcilable pessimist.

The dragons drops the paper and tries to smile.

Have a nice day.