Iris

A rambling upon an idea of a girl named Iris that I had for a while. I planned to write a couple of short-novels about her. Pardon for the unfinished and un-worked-through feel of this.

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Where ever she was, or where ever she went, she was not alone. Left solemnly to lead this life in solitude. But it didn’t matter, not anymore. Why should she care when he was not there. If happiness was too complicated for her to stay happy, then she’d just simplify it. Smile about the nice things, birds building their nest, flowers coming and going, sunrises and sunsets, though she never saw one. And it was like year after year went by, but the girl in the mirror never changed. She just stands there, staring at me. Oh God, please let that girl not be me. I cannot help it, but my meaning in life is not here anymore, he has left me, understandable enough. I’m not in peace with myself, how can I be, when the whole of me is long for something that is gone, and all I do is think on what was and can never be. The worst and the smallest sorrow in life. Why does it always tend to be people’s relationships that ruins the world. Weren’t they supposed to be of joy?

But all I can see is this little pale girl, standing alone. It is strange. We are most lonely when surrounded by people while the moments of physical solitude stands for me as the moments of togetherness, then at least can I be with my memories in all my misery. Strange enough it feels deserved. Like it’s my fault that my crappy mind is out of function to focus on anything else than the one that is not here. I pity the girl in the mirror. She does not know what she’s missing. Pointless conversations with people miles away from you in their souls, the yearning for creeping down in your own little whole where no-one can reach you. Oh little girl, please tell me how you are. I want to know you, want to share your sorrow. So please, let us smile of our pathetic lives together, so that the bills from the shrinks wont get so big.

Written by Iris, some months after the one that is not here left, going into a period of depression.