Thirteen Times

… "I hate you" is the only thing he can say when their lips are crushed together, hands at each other's throats.

By:

Nitrophiliac (formerly Romantic Suicide)

With When Stars Cry

Prologue

- - -

The first time they meet, December hits him. Hard. Evander remembers it because his mother nearly shrieked in surprise when he came home, seeing the blue and purple swelling that resembled a poorly done make-up job around his right eye. But, he didn't mind so much. It didn't hurt that bad, and in any case, he had hit December back. It was a battle scar, to be worn proudly, with a wide grin.

The second time they meet, Evander hits December first. Later, he remembers how his knuckles hurt after coming in contact with the other boy's jaw and how it hurt more when those knuckles smacked into his jaw. By the time they are done, Evander has three bruises, a split lip, and a headache. December had a bruise on his jaw and a smile on his face.

The third time they meet, it is almost automatic to fight. Evander is better than he had been before-- he knows because this time, December is angry, and not smiling. The battle lasts longer this time because neither is ready to give up and give in, even though their bones and muscles are. They don't know how long it was, but by the time they are done, no body had won, but no body is energetic enough to care. So, they sit together, back to back, wordlessly.

The fourth time they meet, December nods politely, almost coldly. Evander gives a quiet grunt of recognition in return.

The fifth time they meet, Evander finally asks for his name. He learns that the other boy's name is December, and that his birthday is in May. He laughs, and December hits him for the first time in a long time. It feels good, but Evander doesn't hit him back. This time, he wants to be the one with the one bruise and the smile.

The sixth time they meet, they talk instead of fight. It is strange because Evander is more sure of how to communicate with his fists, and less sure of how to express himself with his words. December doesn't seem to mind though, mostly because he is fluent in both 'fists' and English. Evander laughs a lot, though, and realizes that fighting and talking with December makes him happy.

The seventh time they meet, December hits Evander again because he is an hour late. Evander is irritated, but apologizes anyway-- he slept in. December thinks this is a stupid reason, but Evander is glad that he waited for him anyways.

The eight time they meet, Evander thinks that is a mistake, because he knows it feels right when they fight, but somehow, it is different when it is their lips that touch and not their fists, soft and gentle at first and not like them at all. December doesn't say anything to him afterwards, and Evander frowns and thinks that it is Decembers fault entirely.

The ninth time they meet, it is awkward at first because they do not know if they should fight or kiss or talk or shout or cry or smile... So, they remain silent. It is this time that they understand each other without words or fists or lips, and it is almost right.

The tenth time they meet, Evander gives up trying to separate his feelings and they collide. "I hate you" is the only thing he can say when their lips are crushed together, hands at each other's throats. December stops, laughs a little, and with a small smile, says the same thing back.

The eleventh time they meet, they don’t really, a brushing of shoulders, of hands, but no words.

The twelfth time they meet, Evander corrects himself. "I love you."

The thirteenth time they meet, December is hesitant, different. It was better, he thinks, when passion was vented into fighting. But, he can't commit yet; he doesn't want to. He wants to fight and to love and to hate as much as Evander does, but he doesn't know how. "I can't."

- - -

TBC.