As they cruise through the night she gazes at the sky.

Watching as the bright lights pass them by.

She hears the laughter of her friends but her emptiness grows.

She remains silent as they ride.

Tears form at the back of her eyes and her throat gets tight.

She dreams of her past days, when he was all she saw.

He’d smile and her heart would stop; her world would stop all for him.

His beautiful brown eyes would soak her in and she’d want to live in him forever.

His arms would hold her tight as she kissed away his pain and they slept through the night.

His breathing would calm her and she’d promised she’d forever be his.

She said she loved him and she knew he loved her.

But scared she was, as every day she looked into his eyes

And realized that she really was falling for him.

She was scared to admit she could be so close to someone.

He felt for her what she’d always wished for and finally she had found him.

Tillat once she walked away and went back to the old days.

The days in which they used her for only themselves then pushed her away.

Back to the days she depended on pain to get through it all.

She killed him, his heart, she watched the life in his eyes fade away,

As she proclaimed to him that it all was lies.

Her heart twisted and screamed for her to stop,

Told her that this was all for her,

That this was finally the good she deserved.

But she refused to listen,

And said she would find someone better than him as he stood; broken.

She walked away, didn’t look back as she heard his heart-wrenching sobs.

They sent chills down her spine and clawed at her stomach,

As she searched for that coldness she once possessed.

That night she wandered the city streets, back to her old ways.

She walked into a bar and got what she wanted and felt she deserved.

A man whose hands were rough and breath harsh.

A man who wouldn’t want to know her name nor care if she died.

All he wanted was pleasure and she knew how to use herself.

He paid her afterwards, as she walked out.

Her emptiness set in.

She went through more guys than she had ever before in one night,

Trying to forget what she’d just done to him.

She slept in the park for an hour or two then made her way home.

She laid on her bed,

The dirty feeling she always had resting between her legs,

As she counted up the money she’d just made.

She threw off her clothes until she stood naked.

She studied her body in the mirror.

She ran her hands over her breasts and down past her stomach,

Then turned to the side till her scars came into view.

On her lower back read sorrow by cuts she’d made not too long ago.

She sat on the floor and moved closer to the mirror to stare into her own eyes.

She tried to cry, to show pity for herself but couldn’t.

She tried to smile but it stung.

She laid back,

Legs open then looked in the mirror,

This is what they saw.

This is all I am, she thought.

Is this what he saw too?

Did he see all of what the others did?

No, she knew he hadn’t,

He saw in her what all the others didn’t.

He saw a person who’d never known love.

And as she rides with her friends,

To another night of lust,

She knows and promises she’ll never forget him.

She’ll wish she’d never lost him,

But she had to for he deserved better than her.

A real person.

Someone who could not only receive love but give it too.