NOTHING

Cars speed by. Vibrations pass through the thin metal of our car, shaking the interior ever so slightly. Whoosh. And there gone, progressively fading into an insignificant dot on the swirling horizon of the heat struck highway.

You feel the emptiness with rambling words. My minds eye mixes them all into one big mesh, I've learned to let go of their individualism. They all come out to mean the same thing. Every time. "I’m sorry, but...” Are you ever, truly sorry? Do you hold an excuse in place for every miss step in life?

I don’t pay attention to your explanation. I allow my gaze to wonder out to the window, to the trees speeding by, every once and a while accompanied by a farm. Nothing. I feel nothing. No emotion pulses through my body. I've been through this too many times for me to hold any feeling any longer. No anger, no hate, no sadness, not even disappointment, or surprise. Nothing.

You’re talking in a near hysterical manner now, letting sentences mesh into one, repeating words, stumbling over yourself within your own little speech. You divert your gaze from the highway for a second, to look over at me. I don’t return it, don’t even respond at all.

No anger. No sadness. No hate. No disappointment. No surprise. Nothing.